If you are anything like me I complain when it's too hot and complain again when it's cold. I live in the Northeast of the country; New Jersey to be specific so I experience four seasons. Unlike Florida that lives in constant summer or the states way up north that are a bit colder, I’m not sure where I really fit in. All I know is Summer usually starts to fade out right after my birthday (July 13th). If my mother had me 6 days prior I’d be a 7-7-77 luck baby but really if you google the day it was nothing short of disastrous. Aside from the biggest fire in federal prison history or the total Blackout in New York City, I’d think any baby born on that day or the following week would have seemed like the antichrist arrived.
All jokes aside… Where the fuuuuuu….dge did summer go? I still haven't gotten past this tacky ass uneven farmers tan that seems to exist on the skin visible from my driver’s side window.
Summers aren't what they were when I was a kid. All I do is work and by the time I get out, I’m chasing the sun home in hopes I can get a little porch time with a glass of wine and a quick fix dinner.
Looking back at the past month, I have to say, not much went on except for a couple of weekend getaways where I went to Atlantic City to donate to Casinos, stuff my face with boardwalk eats and do a little people watching on a famous boardwalk sitting on a bench next to a guy that was chain smoking and feeding the freakin’ seagulls.
I was sitting with my date when all of a sudden a big splatter of what appeared to be yogurt landed right in his lap and the sound of an angry Ohhh WTF!!!! I couldn't help but laugh my ass off and hand him my used napkin. My appetite for the giant pretzel I was holding completely went away.
After yanking his arm to move along the boardwalk to get him away from telling the seagull feeder off… we went back into the casino where I decided to slap a $10 dollar bill in a computer generated Roulette table. Ready to say bye to my donations, I scanned the board and put chips down, starting with the outside “black”. I figured it’s a 50/50 chance so why not.
Either way I had a bottle of Ciroc waiting for me in my hotel room at Ceasar’s palace. OMG, I Hit! Feeling lucky I started playing the inside numbers. I chose a number and stacked chips on “13” and the remaining chips around it. OMG I hit!. Figuring this is the part where I hit the cash out button and walk away while I was ahead.
Hell I turned 10 bucks into about $250 in a matter of 10 minutes. My date was salty but impressed. Off to the hotel room we went and well…. That Ciroc ain’t nothin to mess with lol…. I sure felt it the next day!
The following weekend was my Birthday weekend. I took off on that Friday so I can really enjoy a little time away from working and adulting. I decided to hit the Poconos! I’m a city girl but there I was in the mountains. Copped me a sweet townhouse Air BnB right next to Camelback Resort. Prior to the trip I created a detailed itinerary booklet complete with pictures of each of the excursions we had tickets for. When we arrived Thursday evening after work and a 2 hour drive, I hit up the local Walmart for a little weekend grocery shopping knowing dang well I wasn’t going to cook. Grabbed my luggage from my car ( I totally packed for 2 weeks) and settled in. Rummaged through my beach bag and pulled out a pouch of edibles; “Rainbow Download” to be exact and yea a couple of those and some Ciroc… Holy Christmas in July! I was lit up like a Christmas tree. FFS they sure don't sell those potent treats in Pennsylvania. Jersey dispensaries are something different. SMH
Anyway, not much else happened that night… smirks.
Friday was chill… I kinda remember it… We went to Mount Airy Casino. I thought I would get lucky playing roulette there too but I was wrong. There were two tables. I was looking at the number boards to determine which one I might have a better chance with so I walked over and watched. I turned to my date and said next ball will land on “12”. I didn’t place any bets and WTF… it totally landed on that number! I sat down and dropped $15 on a game and lost it in one round. I was done. I’m not the gambling addict type. I’ll donate up to about $20 bucks and be done. Decided to stop by Guy Fieri’s restaurant to eat and out of curiosity googled if the place was haunted and sure enough…. I read something about the main dining area reporting the most haunted activity. My punk ass date wasn’t too thrilled and wanted to get out of there.
So Saturday… decided to Zipline. We purchased tickets online and off we went flying down a 4000 ft double barrel. My date leaped first and was halfway down when I jumped off the platform. I tried grabbing the handles for stability but I felt like I was hanging so I let go and gripped the harness. WTF! It had me turning backwards and I ended up missing the view down and just staring back up at the mountain as I was screaming bloody murder. I couldn’t catch my footing so I kinda bounced back up the mountain and the zipline spotters had to scurry to get me. One and done.
When I landed at the bottom all I heard was OOOHHHH my nuts! I guess his harness was strapped a little too tight on those berries. After that experience we hopped on a shuttle bus to the parking lot and left to check out The haunted Candle Shoppe. Yup, they got ghost monkeys. Before it became a candle Shop, it was home to a deranged doctor that experimented on monkeys in the basement. People reported hearing little phantom monkey feet running across the floor and stuff like that so why not poke my curious nose around to see if something would scare the bejesus out of me. I didn’t see or hear anything strange so off we went stopping by a couple of crystal shops on route back to the Air BnB and the day was over.
Saturday morning was CamelBeach; the next excursion on my Bday itinerary. I highly recommend purchasing VIP seating near the wave pool. I sat sipping a Pina Coloda and people watched. I have to say BBLs are pretty popular. You can tell who got botched in the Dominican republic and who actually researched their plastic surgeon… just saying.
Sunday was check out day and my birthday weekend was over. I headed to visit some family about an hour away while my date headed back to Jersey. I spent the better part of Monday Thrift shopping and spending time with family before I headed back home. Not that y'all readers care what I do aside from managing this newspaper, though I’d share my bits of Summer before it's over.
I have to say even weekend getaways doing random things with others can be fun. I totally recommend it. Stay cool and get to the end of Summer adventures while you can!
Feel free to share your summer adventures in the comment box below. I know I’m not the only one who has stories
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