Is that Peter Pan…. a pirate?…. perhaps a drag queen?…. No
wait! It’s just a man in tights!
Have no fear Second Life residents, male ballerinas are not
swan dancing across the grid to demasculinize an entire community this
Halloween. So, let’s not jump to any conclusions. Most
tight pants wearing men are happily married or involved with the
opposite sex. Today is no different.
They fear not a feminine twist to their ensembles because
they give zero fux what others think of them, especially on Halloween. But they
ought to worry about the severe chafing, heat rashes, in particular in the grundle
area, and other SL health problems
associated with fabrics that are to tight or abrasive.
This is news worth
reporting in a dying virtual community of minimalists who waddle the grid in
search of freebies, sugar daddies, drama or meaningless sloppy sex in an
unmeshed body. This year, they are
getting rid of the superhero capes and going to the extreme.
The whole idea of
tights is a way for men to show off their junk without really whipping it out
and getting banned from the more uptight venues on the grid. Whatever the
reason for the sudden Halloween trend, men across the grid are practicing
tighism with pride and partying like nobody’s business.
The SL Enquirer was on the scene at one Halloween party when
one mesh avie split his spray painted on jeggins whilst attempting a black flip
split at the “Rock that Bod” Dance off Spectacular. He won the grand prize of
50 lindens and a gift certificate to a local clothing store.
Another man
complained of circulation issues surrounding his twig and berries while doing
the electric slide while another brave
man did the running man to display his extra flexible pleather physics
addition.
One party goer who wished to remain anonymous suggested it
was a form of effective male birth
control before getting backhanded by his visibly pregnant girlfriend.
Another comment came from the restroom area. The voice
sounded very similar to Mickey Mouse struggling to pulls his tights back up
from a potty break.
At the exit a man was seen being escorted out of the club by
three bouncers because he displayed a grotesquely lopsided cameltoe.
Rumor has it he was concealing a rubber chicken in his pants
and threatening to cock slap the bartender.
The night quickly came to an end when a fist fight broke out
between three females dressed like washed up Pussycat dolls who had a
disagreement about the assortment of patterns being displayed by the men in
tights.
Things are really heating up for Halloween and getting out
of control.
Keep a close watch and you will see just how extremely sexy
or obscenely horrific the men in tights look at your Halloween part as they
strut on by in all their glory.
Be sure to drop to your knees and praise them either way.
Let them know the SL Enquirer fully supports the movement or lack thereof. We
know it is an acquired taste but we believe in short time, they will hang up
the tights for business suits and redeem themselves of the “WTF was I thinking”
moment they had in Second Life for Halloween.
This article is ridiculous and for shameless entertainment
purposes only.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN SLE FANS!
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