AVIE POLL: Cheating in SL- Keep Them Or Lose them?- Dragonmaster Mistwalker Reporting...

                          
I have seen many discussions started by a simple Truthball question.  Is sex in SL considered cheating if you are married in RL or does it count because it`s just an avatar? Also,  should you dump the person or forgive them? 

The way I see it is if both parties know what the other is doing in SL, they have rules, boundaries and they are adhered that is not cheating.

 However, if one side of the couple is doing it behind the others back or lying to either their partner or the person they are doing things with in second life that is cheating. 

So. that being said I`m heading out to get opinions from Sl residents about how they would handle lying and cheating.


Dragon Mistwalker (dragonmaster.mistwalker): if you partner cheats on you would you forgive them or would you dump them?

finn Somerset: hmmm, I would dump him...nods.

Dragon Mistwalker (dragonmaster.mistwalker): if your partner cheats on you would you forgive them or  dump them?

LYN (littlelyn.claremont): dump them.

Dragon Mistwalker (dragonmaster.mistwalker): if your partner cheats on you would you forgive them or would you dump them?

MoRgaine (morgaine.faith): It's hard to say... depends on the bond, how long you've been together, your history as a couple... SL can provide a lot of temptation.  Once trust is broken, it's extremely difficult to gain it back.  I guess it really depends on how worth it you feel the relationship is worth fighting for... but that's just me, I'm a romantic at heart. :-).

Olivia

Dragon Mistwalker (dragonmaster.mistwalker): if your partner cheated on you would you forgive them or dump them?

 Olivia (oliviadoolittle): dump them but it depends if I was married to them for 3 years or something I might forgive them.

Dragon Mistwalker (dragonmaster.mistwalker): if your partner cheated on you would you forgive them or dump them?

mustang Silvershade: depends if i can be big enough and forgive.


Dragon Mistwalker (dragonmaster.mistwalker): if your partner cheated on you would you forgive them or dump them?

Dessario: it depends how the relationship was defined... I do not believe monogamy is healthy in the long run, so if we were open I would be okay with it.


For most of the people I talked to they would dump their partner. I would agree that it depends on the relationship and the people involved, how strong the relationship is, and whether you can get past the cheating.

 For some i`m sure forgiving makes for a stronger relationship while for others they can`t deal with the hurt and choose to leave the other person.


What are your thoughts on this topics?

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Top 5 Reasons Why Relationships Fail in Second Life-Becca Drascol Reporting

Whether your SL relationship is just an in-world romance or one that steps outside into RL, all relationships have specific elements that make them last or fail. Even if the relationship is in-world only and may not be as serious, all people tend to rely on a few basic things that they will or won't tolerate. In this article I will go over what I feel are top 5 things that make a relationship fail in SL.

1)Stalking-All relationships usually start off sweet and honeymooner-esque. And although most stalking usually occurs after a relationship ends badly, that's not always the case. Rather it's a possession or control type issue, sometimes people have an unhealthy obsession with someone they have been involved with. To me this is a very distinct line and timing of something that ruins or causes the fail of a relationship.

2)Partner becomes controlling-While we want to think we would know a controlling person when we meet them, the truth can be so very far from that. Sometimes it’s just when things seem to be rolling along merrily and then BAM one partner starts to control. From telling their partner how to dress, who to talk to, and furthermore what type of job they can or cannot do within SL, or even where they can go. This too can kill any relationship. It is only when one becomes passive to the control is when it doesn't end the relationship.

3)Cheating-When it comes to cheating I must first say that one there is a clear cut definition of cheating, which would be having a romantic and/or sexual relationship with someone other than your partner. With that being said, and with the fact that polyamory is on a RL rise, along with open relationships, and different sexual behaviors that would normally be defined as cheating, what cheating is truly defined as may be blurred. But whenever an issue is one that is a betrayal to your partner it is most likely going to end up heartbreak hotel and the end of a relationship.

4)New love interest-Ever get that feeling that the relationship has changed? That your partner is falling for another? Or boom...they leave you and then you find that it's for another. And unless you want to cling or hold on...or become the above mentioned, a stalker...your love finding another is normally the end of things. And so it should be.

5)Dishonesty-What's a little white lie? A huge lie? One lie...or two...three? Well I guess it would depend on if the person lied to can live with the truth that it spawned from. Sometimes couples can thrive even when dishonesty arises mid relationship. Even lies that most people would not stand for, such as they're married RL and you never knew, or have children. Or perhaps they play as a male avatar and to your knowledge were male RL then suddenly they confess they happen to be female RL. Some of these lies would not affect one whatsoever and they would continue the SL relationship as it was, only in knowing the things they did not before. But for most, lies and dishonest behavior will put a nail in the coffin for sure.

Why do they fail?

Why one relationship fails while another thrives may be a mystery or obvious and clear. It could be one or all of my top five play a part in relationship failures. Hopefully with these top five in mind, you SL’ers out there can better a current relationship or make informed decisions when it’s time for an end.

This is Becca Drascol wishing you a happy healthy relationship...or new beginnings should one fail.

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A Love Story…From Second Life to Real Life- LilyLaceWing Reporting…

How one couple overcame over a thousand miles, and are still going strong today!

It was no easy task, but I finally found love in Second Life!! No, not for me, silly! I have love of my own in SL and RL (same person, of course.) No, what I was looking for, was a couple who’d gotten their start in SL, then moved successfully into an RL relationship! Let me introduce you to Laney* and Bob*.

Laney is a 34 year old young woman from California, who found the man of her dreams in Bob, 42, an RL mechanic in Florida. The two met one night at a mutual friend’s rez day party, and immediately had a connection. They spent the next six hours straight online together chatting, exploring, and generally trying to get to know one another before Bob had to head off to work. Laney found herself wondering when he’d be back online. Laney is disabled due to MS (multiple sclerosis,) and uses SL as a way to explore without taxing her RL body. She never expected to make a romantic connection in SL.

 Nor did Bob, who was recently divorced, quite nastily, from his ex wife Diane*. Diane got the kids most of the time, and he got to keep the house for his half of their visits since Diane’s family was well off and could help her get into a new living situation, whereas Bob would be left without a home, having no living relatives he could call on for help. But after that party, they were inseparable, spending as much time in SL together as possible, and lots of time on the phone together.

Finally, after about 4 months, Bob saved up enough to meet with Laney in person. “When I first saw him, I just knew everything was going to be great. He had this smile to him that was warm, and somehow familiar. I knew then that I was head over heels in love with him.” They spent two wonderful weeks together, before Bob had to return to his home state of Florida to go back to work. It was torture for them, being apart so much, so Bob would fly Laney out to visit whenever he could afford to. “She was so great with the kids, so natural. I was relieved to see them get along so well, and my little ones take to her so quickly. When she’d come, she’d often visit for up to three weeks. After about five or six rounds of doing that, they decided it was time to think seriously. Did they want to take their relationship to the next level?

 About 5 months ago, Laney moved in with Bob full time, and now spends her time with her best friend, his children, and their combined dogs, hers a German Shepherd, his a bulldog. “It’s funny to watch them play together,” Says Laney, “Nat (the shepherd) is so careful with Sully, it’s like she’s adopted her.” And while Laney says her illness always makes life a rollercoaster ride, this time at least she can enjoy the ride.

 I want to thank the real “Laney” and “Bob” for sharing their story with me, as I mentioned before, it was hard to find a story with a happy ending, but so far, at least, Laney and Bob are doing well with their happy ending. I wish you both the best of luck, and a bright future!

*Not their real names, I find anonymity allows the story teller to be more open, and was granted this story on the condition of it. 

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CAN SECOND LIFE RELATIONSHIPS REALLY WORK? – Camury Reporting

 “Virtual relationships” is the subject of interest for many people. I believe that nobody enters this virtual environment just to be alone. In a certain way, everybody wants to meet other people and establish some kind of relationship, even if it’s a temporary one.

Talking to some friends I realized that most of them keep some kind of relationship in their Second Life. Some of those are really happy, healthy and permanent.

The Second life is an environment where we can keep in touch with people from different cultures all over the world. Virtual relationships just happen, one way or another, as soon as we meet different people. Some people get emotionally involved. It just naturally happens, even if we don’t want to. Many of us get so involved in those relationships that it starts affecting our real life. I know some couples, who with some time together, passed through the Second Life barriers and had some contact in real life.

In another conversation with my friends, they told me that the things they most like to do when they’re online are: meeting new people (especially of the opposite sex), talking, exploring, dating and even virtual sex. For the majority of men and women the pleasure and seduction are the best things in SL.  Many consider SL a great place to learn about human interactions and experimenting with fantasies they may not feel confident or able to try in the real world. I find this concept very interesting.  When I was exploring the grid, I saw some unusual events, which we may never see in real life.

For example, I saw a man and a little cat girl purring and flirting in the open chat. I also saw a beautiful lonely elf girl, waiting for someone to interact with.

I am also curious to observe people being able to fulfill their fantasies and fetishes in a variety of ways.

The question is in all these scenarios is, what actually works in a virtual relationship?

After some long talks with my friends I realized that relationships, the successful ones, are the ones that are based on understanding each other’s differences and the limitations in having a virtual relationship.

The most important thing is that our real life experience on this subject can’t be applied in virtual relationships. We can even see some people making the same real life mistakes in second life. It’s like the famous quote: “Wherever you go, there you are”.

Mutual respect, caring, complicity and most important the positive vibes, the willingness to be together, that’s what keeps the relationships happy.

 Above all things, if you want a relationship to be permanent, just put the jealousy aside. After all, everyone wants to have fun, that’s what SL is about, with no real life dramas added to the mix.

Here are 10 Commandments for Virtual Relationships.

1. §   Don’t be jealous
2. §   Leave the dramas at the door
3. §   Have interests in common;
4. §   Respect each other’s boundaries
5. §   Be creative and spontaneous
6. §   Don’t let the routine depress the relationship
7. §   Don’t isolate. Keep other Second Life friendships, not only with your partner.
8. §   Have the same expectations of your partner about bringing the SL relationship to real life.
9. §   Respect each other’s feelings
10.    Share the same fantasies.

Special thanks to: Max and Matt, who posed with me, for the photos; Joymell, the beautiful lonely elf girl; the unknown couple, the man and the cat girl; Pryamel and Majamela; a romantic couple and Dino, for helping me with my English.

Note: This article was translated from Portuguese to English

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Let’s talk about SLex – Glossom Resident Reporting…

There is a certain inherent eroticism around Second Life for the many graphic images that appeal to human nature: the skins and shapes that are models of perfect and sensual bodies, the provocative clothes or the lack of them and even the animations that give avatars a sexy twist. 

Additionally, this platform allows us to voice with each other without having to reveal our identity, lifting eroticism into a whole new level: sexy voices; foreign accents that are appealing and lure the receiver. Thus, physical attraction is replaced for voice attraction and our powerful minds do the rest. All this affects our emotions related to sexuality.

On the other side of the scale there is the weight of moral and emotional values, either in shape of a real relationship where virtual sex is a way of cheating on the real partner or in shape of personal boundaries where virtual sex makes no sense and is rejected for the lack of physical connection or lack of objectives.

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It's the Season to Say I Do: Weddings in Second Life- Tea Couturier Reporting…

Weddings in Second Life have become more popular with couples over the years. In the beginning of Second Life when avatars partnered with each other, that was considered both an engagement/marriage with their significant other displayed in their profile. 

Today beautiful elaborate wedding ceremonies have become popular in Second Life as more venues offer services and designers create stunning wedding dresses, bouquets and accessories for the special day.

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AVIE POLL: Controversial Topic- Married and Dating In SL- Jessi2009 Warrol Reporting…

Dating in Second Life can have its ups and downs and you may run into a variety of couples, including couples who are married in real life, but have relationships or are married in Second Life. This is a subject which is often commented on by many people. Some feel that it is ok to be married in real life and to have a relationship in Second Life, while others may think that if you are married in real life then you should not date or have a relationship in Second Life.

I was able to catch up with three different couples, all of which are married in real life and dating or married in Second Life. Warning the names have been changed to protect the innocent (or married).

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