SLE Poll -Qualities of Friendship- Tabitha Mercury reporting...

 Finding friendships can sometimes be as easy as a smile or as daunting as a chemical equation for an English major. This makes one wonder, what qualities do people look for in starting a friendship? 

Well, I took my notepad and pen and set out to find out.

I polled several people and asked them what their top 5 qualities they look for in friendships. Well, that might have been a mistake, because that gives an array of options to sift through. Not having a standard list for them to choose from made for quite an array of qualities that we might search for when finding new friendships.

After crunching the data with my trusty rusty calculator, yeah I am old-school like that, I have found the following qualities to be the most wanted when finding a friendship with someone:

1. Sense of Humor (5 votes)

2. Common Interest (4 votes)

3. Honesty (3 votes)

4. Reliability (3 votes)

5. Open-mind (3 votes)

Some others that are worth a mention are: Loyalty (2 votes), Fun, Communication, Kindness, Inner Beauty, Outer Beauty ,Considerate, Being Real, Adventurous, Respect, Passionate, Patient, and  Likes to tease and be teased, which all had a mention.

I have a friend, Angelixa, whom I have personally witnessed being able to be friends with people who are of different circles, which is quite a juggling act, I would imagine. I posed the question to her about what she feels is important when finding new friends:

Angelixa: Every good friendship starts with humor. That's usually how you get into someone's contacts to begin with. But you cannot sustain a relationship on humor alone. Being privileged to anyone's humor requires respect, patience, and honesty. Respect their time, their privacy (especially in a space like SL), and their boundaries. The patience to listen and being honest in what you share. You don't have to share everything (we don't all have time for that), but for the things you do share... be honest.

Once you get past that stage of learning someone, you can finally begin to appreciate their true beauty... their passions. What drives them? What can they talk hours on end about? Only then will I truly consider them a friend.

I feel Angelixa has a good take on how to start and maintain a new friendship and has dispensed some sage advice. (Yes, she’s always like this, very wise and sage for her age.)

There are so many different qualities that people look for and this poll showed me that we all are so unique and look for different things in others. It was interesting to see which ones seemed to be most important (by being repeated by different people) and what some would include in their top 5 qualities that they look for in a friend.

For me personally, Honesty, Reliability, Sense of Humor, Intelligence, and Loyalty would probably be my top five qualities I look for in my own search for friends. I will admit, I have many more qualities I look for in new friends and it was very hard to reduce it to a top five list. I am taking applications for new friends currently, so hit me up if this sounds like you. *winks*

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Has Online Dating Ruined that Old-School Romance?? Samuel Roberts Reporting.

 

Poll on members of SL on the question “Has Online Dating Ruined that Old-School Romance?”

 

It’s a brave new world kids and this is not your grandad’s dating scene, unless your grandad is on tinder in which case good for him. Lol. Look, the truth is it’s a strange new world where the idea of approaching a stranger and getting to know them over time, flirting, building a repour before approaching the father for permission to take things further are all but extinct. Now its like a face you think is hot, if they like your face back then it’s a short questionnaire. ASL?? Age – Sex – Location, how old are you, what’s your gender identity and where are you?? That’s all I need to know and if your answers vibe with my answers then BAM we can meet up and no. you can’t meet my father. Is this what dating has become? Is this really how it is these days? Is it really that cold and lifeless?

 

Turns out no. I hit the grid this week and polled some random passersby about the question on my mind, has online dating in fact ruined what use to be romance? The answers I received were not what you would expect, there seems to be an atmosphere of on the one hand yes something feels like its lost but also, it’s been expanded. Made easier to cut through the red tape and find something special you would never have had the chance to given that you were only exposed to a small surrounding community of offline in person community group.

 

So, I asked around, and these are the answers I got, when asked this very question one woman said.

 “Yes, it has lost honesty, when people are not honest in what they are really searching for, its easy to pretend when no one is looking right at you that you are a genuine guy, so as a woman you get fooled in online dating, lost of players lying to get a few good pics while pretending they want more”.

 

another woman’s reply was.

“I don't think it has ruined it, not even close, I met my husband in RL on an online dating app and 7 years later we are still together and loved up more than ever. In fact, I would have never met the man of my dreams if it wasn’t for online dating”.

 

both these answers seem to contradict but I do not think so, I think they are both correct, they both make valid points. On the one hand anonymity is a good thing to hide behind for the player out there but if you’re in a town of 300 ppl then meeting a few players online before you eventually meet that guy you end up marrying for 7 years is maybe worth it considering without your only option is the abysmal small-town folk currently in your vicinity.

 

One man’s response to this question was.

“Believe it has destroyed old fashioned romance unfortunately, now girls think it’s weird when I try to meet them organically when I’m out and about, its like if I haven’t swiped and said they’re hot on an app first it is considered weird to even talk to them”.

 

and another reply I received was.

“Yes, the days of grabbing a woman by the hair and dragging her back to the cave are unfortunately long gone.   This seems to be the future...but is it more reliable? I think not.”

 

A hint of jest and sarcasm in the latter reply but I think the gentlemen’s point rings true in the sense that it is neither more nor less reliable. which I think is the point I’m walking away with so far, online dating isn’t a new kind of dating, it isn’t some kind of evolution of dating, its just a different forum, it has its pros and cons but threonyl thing that has really changed is the way in which we initiate contact, its still up to our own charm, personality and charisma to finish the job.

 

I especially love one woman’s response when she said.

"Hm, that is a very open-ended question. I would say yes and no. There are good and bad aspect when it comes to dating in general. Personally, I don't really care much for dating in either world because I am extremely anti-social so talking to people in general is hard. As for dating a whole, it is a lot of work, taking care of yourself for some people is hard enough. Adding in another person is just overkill. Especially when most people want some type of fairytale romance, which in a game is easy to give someone. So no, I don't think that online dating is what ruins dating for people, it's people who ruin it.”

 

Or one woman’s response which I found enlightening when she said.

“ personally i think it helps to an extent, getting rid of some awkward conversation if you are not interested there’s no *trying to find a way to sneak out or get called away* but it also makes it easier for predators to get to know their prey before they can be identified so it’s just as scary and in my opinion needs to stay verbally cautioned. that way people aren’t letting their guard down too soon because it is more comfortable to be behind a screen at first.”.

 

In closing Online dating is Bad for those with bad experiences and good for those with good experiences, all in all its just another brick in the walls don’t hate the game. hate the player, guns don’t kill ppl, ppl kill ppl, if you’re not catching my drift il spell it out… its not ONLINEDATING that affects or changes anything… humans will do what humans do…online dating seems to be just a forum we use. But what do I know? Right? What do YOU think?

 

To Jump In the Pool:

 

Love Actually Dating Agency: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Gold%20Hollow/75/74/30

 

Lonely Hearts Dating Agency:

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Morenci/32/36/3501

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Avie Poll: What does SL need to keep residents engaged? Reporting: Katrina Karsin

Second Life was first released on June 23rd, 2003. Exploring this virtual world can easily be compared to other online worlds as you can role play, meet new people form friendships, and relationships.  Some even make close friends outside of SL while others find their soul mate and may even get married.  It is hard to say what percentage of people prefer to keep real life and SL life separate.  While others consider it an extension of themselves and treat people, they meet the way they want to be treated.  That said Linden Lab is insistent that Second Life is not a game at all, as the creators did not design SL to have an end objective or to manufacture conflict.  Instead of LL it is a journey to explore your own capabilities to the utmost while meeting other like-minded people.

The majority of individuals engage with friends they have made by having a common ground like music, building, and scripting.  Others like to take pictures and blog various creations.  Most have found a way to learn more about SL by exploring a variety of venues.  So with that in mind, what does SL need to keep residents engaged?

What does SL need to keep residents engaged?

Morrigan: Of course, the answer is going to be subjective.  I think a way of meeting people is easy.  Having a way of finding community and building upon that.  For those who are loners, I would think of a better way to find out what SL offers.  There is building, scripting, role play, riding vehicles etc.  Also, it's not really mentioned when you make your first avatar that to do anything really fun or to look good, it can cost RL money

Arpeggio: Probably better marketing to have a greater variety of people here.  I would market to the creative types and a broader range of people.

Bray: It depends on the person; some people only want nudity and virtual pornography.  Others need an active art or music life, most want vocal chat.  SL  needs variety .... so that everyone finds what they want.

Rei Schnyder:  I don’t know, what keeps me here is music and friends

LeaFeel: I see the music work in SL is very good, but as you know there is a variety of interests like gaming and sex are highly rated too.  I think creators are making amazing work too and this will surely get interested and I continue explore.

Jon: Don’t know that it needs anything.... if people can't find things to engage in, with what’s already on SL they must be hard to please.  Been here a loooong time...  habit maybe lol.  l like you am into music.... SL is a good place to listen to the various genres there are. 

Kyla: More new activities. everything is kind of getting old. There isn't enough new people or new activities. And more linden interaction. I was told there used to be mentors, who could be asked anything that worked with linden labs. We need that... but mostly we need new blood, new ideas, new things to do or be able to do. Without being as limited. More diversity in the sims would be cool, I see a lot of kids in the kid community, so I feel they need to be supported more too. And there should be something done about the economy in sl. I mean, right now it's based on what money people can bring into SL, those are the ones that make the money and become rich, well what about those who aren't rich or aren't able to bring money in? Or those who have to use SL to survive and pay their bills? Something should be done about that.

Jo: I don't think they can do much more than they are now.  They provide the tools and the residents build the things that keep others engaged.  I enjoy my friends ultimately and I also like scripting and building and the active BDSM community.

Zeipher: Additional privacy features like being able to turn off visibility of parcels around you, to avoid full bright neighbor nightmares. More social events, more hunts, more competitions. Many improvements to the "life comforts" like upgrading the base avatar to something more in line with current GPU capabilities.  I think that there's nothing worse than spending 100's of hours creating forests and marinas and beautiful scenery. Adjusting your eep settings to give off just the right atmosphere of "dusk" only to have a new neighbour move in and build full bright white skyscrapers out of prims as far as the eye can see. I recently abandoned a full quarter region of the beautiful seaside mainland for that reason.. It still hurts.

What it may come down to is the level of exploring SL, and each person’s interest and comfort level to explore in Second Life. Some people enjoy reading and will go to SL Community page Second Life - Second Life Community.  Others need to be shown with pictures or by talking to other avatars in groups within SL.  There are people and places willing to help anyone out, although most help based groups in SL only want to help new people out and become suspicious when they look at a profile and see the age of the avatar but do not realize that avatar is logging in for the first time in a while and needs help understanding the changes with avatars and navigating SL to find some free or inexpensive Bento heads, shapes, skin, etc.  Others find themselves being booted out of groups for speaking English too well and typing too fast!  Some try Flickr, Facebook groups, and Discord to search and connect with others.  It may just come down to how each person thinks and processes what they are learning, and we all know that we learn at different speeds.  In my humble opinion, I think Second Life is created to help us explore our own minds, to possibly push ourselves to learn something new and grow using Second Life as a tool. So sit back, relax and explore!

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SL Poll Results: How Do You Feel About the New Virtual World From Linden Labs

Well the public has spoken! Last week we asked our readers how they felt about the new virtual world announcement from Linden Labs. Below are the results:

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Poll - Do We Need a Legal System in SL?

April Fools...in July?!!

Last week, Second Life Avatar, Holger Gilruth, posted an article on his blog, which stated that the Firestorm Viewer was going to be banned from Second Life. The reason he gave for the supposed blocking of the viewer is "creators of the Firestorm Viewer has stolen thousands of Login details with his products the firestorm viewer".

Of course this story was without any facts and was completely false. The story also drew a response from the Firestorm Project Manager, Jessica Lyon:

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Poll - Tell Us How You Feel About the New Virtual World From Linden Labs

I was standing around fishing in SL the other night and some of my fishing friends were talking about the upcoming virtual world from Linden Labs, maker of SL. In case you have missed this huge announcement, Linden Labs' CEO announced that a new virtual world is in the works. Much is still to be unknown about this virtual world, but there will be no backwards compatibility or open source access.

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Avatar Poll Second Life Questionnaire- Pandora Drezelan Reporting...

I wanted to get an insight to peoples experiences in Second Life, so I asked my friends Chrissie Lisa, Quinlan Placebo and Amanda AKA HeartsJourney a few interesting questions and got some great reactions.

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