POLICE REPORT: BREAKING NEWS! Lanai's Encounter with Karen at Starbucks leads to charges

 

January 5, 2023- Lanai Jarrico was nearly arrested for disorderly conduct, simple assault, and battery with a rolled-up newspaper outside of Starbucks. 

Karen Smithstofferson, 45 of Honeysuckle Tart Estate filed a complaint while holding an ice pack over her eye and crying hysterically late Thursday afternoon claiming Lanai Jarrico attacked her with what she thought was a steel baseball bat for no reason. Karen also claimed she simply stopped by Starbucks after an exhausting shopping trip at Costco.  She asked for her usual nonfat venti Peppermint mocha Frappuccino Blended beverage, with no vanilla, Caramel Macchiato when Karen accused Lanai of shoving her resulting in a one-sided altercation. While Lanai stood there staring at her like she was an idiot.

Karen Immediately requested to speak to the manager while calling the police on speed dial.  The barista witnessed the entire interaction and immediately asked Karen to leave the premises. As she gathered her drink and headed for the door she turned to Lanai and called her a terrible journalist and held up her middle finger until she got outside. 

According to video footage, Lanai was practicing social distancing as she waited patiently for Karen to finish her rant before stepping up to the counter to order a hot chocolate and a vanilla almond biscotti.

Witnesses say Lanai was approached outside by a seething Karen who was seen pacing back and forth mumbling nonsense.  Lanai stood there for a moment just observing until Karen stepped into her personal space causing Lanai to swing a rolled-up newspaper knocking Karen out cold on the sidewalk.  

Within minutes police arrived on the scene to investigate the situation and interviewed  both women while administering first aid to Karen. 

 It was determined that with the rash of Karenism spreading like wildfire at various Starbucks, Walmarts, Costco, Target, Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods, Walgreens, Taco Bells, Hobby Lobby, and numerous Hair and Nails Salons, it was well deserved. Lanai was let go with a warning while Karen was arrested for unlawful use of 911 for a non-emergency and fined 500L for littering when she spilled her drink on her way down to the pavement. Lanai was given a lifetime supply of Starbucks for her bravery and courage as well as her own personal booth complete with fresh flowers.

*This article is for entertainment purposes only. No Karens were hurt in the making of this article, just a slight dent in the rolled-up newspaper.

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ITS' 2023! LANAI'S FRIENDS SHARE THEIR NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS!

 

With the holidays winding down and coming to an end, aside from the final wrap-up of the 12 days of Christmas ending on Jan 6th. Also known as 3 Kings Day AKA The Epiphany.   Oddly enough it parallels the intuitive grasp of virtual reality across the grid. Many SL residents are getting back into their routines of creating, concert hopping, shopping, dating, hooking up, and slaying Karens amongst the rest of the beautiful chaos only Second Life can cultivate. I set out to find some new years resolutions ideas from my friend list. I just have to say I am grateful for each and everyone that offered their friendship or accepted mine. They are my Tribe in SL and always respond. Including the Karen or two that wigged out and asked to be removed from my friend list. I got love for you too but I can't speak for others. 

The biggest message I took away from everyone’s responses is motivation, positivity, renewal, strength, courage, and self-care. Be kind to yourself and to others and let 2023 be a better year than the last.

“I'm planning on a New Year new me, starting mid-December, but working on changing all of me for the better from head to toe and inside and out!”- Varda

“My SL new year's resolution is to successfully organize my inventory, and keep it that way!”- Elowyn

“lol Elowyn would for me a neverending story” - Nita

“getting a goose avi for Ghostie to wear around Ninja” - Guardian

“lmfao Guardian you bastard” - Ninja

 “Staying positive and trying to stay in better health” - Delcinea

“Quitting Dr. Pepper and vaping are my resolutions for this year, Ms. Lanai! So I can get ready for next year's resolution of working on my body!” - Tabitha

“Continuing to report the news in SL, and get the novel I've been working on published”. -Bixyl

“trying to be a better version of myself” -Rocky

“taking more pictures is one of mine!” - Angi

“Getting my latest business venture successfully off the ground!”- Dresi

“Staying away from SL men!!” - Barbie

“working on my real goals and dreams, staying positive, and trying to stay in better health” - Delcinea

“Just to be able to lay my head down at night knowing I was true to me in both worlds, and not to beat me up about resolutions/goals/priorities. - Lady J

“Lanai I had the thought to lose 20 kg...but I know wouldn't happen anyway”- Nita

“I lose that just by logging into SL” -Lanai

“My resolution is not to forget to pay my advertisements at SLEnquirer”- Alpha

“you all are my tribe thanks again for being kind and accepting my random mass Imz. I only had one Karen screaming at me out of 159 tonight  xoxo” -Lanai

“My resolution is to smack that Karen” - Ninja

“BLEEP Karen.. she can kiss my BLEEP” - Alpha

“Oh oh, My resolution is to start to bang all these Karens!!!! hahahahahhah I need a list” - Onehempcat

 "I want to get a Karen to clean my garage" - Josh

“Random acts of loving Karens” - Dreamingen

“#KarensNeedLoveToo” - Ninja

“What a beautiful group of positive people you've found on your list Lanai! Lucky lady ♥- Elowyn

“It truly is a blessing to have you all as friends. You crack me up! I will let you all get back to your regularly scheduled programs now.  Happy New Year! *group hug* - Lanai

“I need to speak to the manager” - Karen

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Entitled blonde porn star meets The SL Enquirer and it ends with a slew of charges

On March 9, 2022, at approximately 6:45 pm SLT, SLE was contacted by Paaulachco Babii aka Jigglie Juggs Velvet asking for a face-to-face meeting with Lanai Jarrico when she realized she was the CEO. Aside from being a fangirl, she is also a low budget blonde porn star from the Crack Den and paid SLE a visit dressed in what can only be described as a freebie store bikini trying to explain what she wanted but her body seemed to be possessed by alien jazz hands until we helped her with a preference settings exorcism.

Upon freeing her from those demons, she requested an interview because it was her 15th rezday. When Jiggli was asked “What would our readers get out of the interview?” her responses would always shy away from the answer and she would jump around topics as she was avoiding the questions believing she didn’t know the answer herself. 

Ms. Juggs finally responded with “that is the writer’s job”, It became clear that she believed her mere existence was important enough to warrant a full interview for FREE at that. When her request was declined it took a turn for the worst and “Karen” came out in all her glory.

18:33] Lanai Jarrico: please don’t waste our time Jiggli

[18:33] Orion Baral: goodbye

[18:33]  Jiggli Juggs Velvet (paulachco.babii): I’m sorry?

[18:33] Lanai Jarrico: Thank you for apologizing.

[18:33] Orion Baral: I don't believe we wish to, have a good evening.

[18:34]  Jiggli Juggs Velvet (paulachco.babii): i don’t understand your poor attitude.  obviously, you get away with it to others.

[18:34]  Jiggli Juggs Velvet (paulachco.babii): take care and best of luck in your future endenvors

[18:34] Lanai Jarrico: k bye.

At this point, Ms. Juggs made her exit and sent Lanai Jarrico an IM to continue her entitled ramble.

[18:36] Jiggli Juggs Velvet (paulachco.babii): I would never pay anyone or any publication to interview me.

[18:37] Lanai Jarrico: continue to seek freebies and you will get what you don’t pay for. You can unfriend me now thank you.

[18:37] Jiggli Juggs Velvet (paulachco.babii): Actually, I thought I was doing the two of you a favor.  And it was spontaneous.  What is of interest is the mystery of me.

[18:37] Lanai Jarrico: leaving did us a favor.

[18:37] Lanai Jarrico: k bye.

[18:37] Jiggli Juggs Velvet (paulachco.babii): you have a bad attitude.  I don't do your work for you.  Your manager is a jackwagon and you, my dear, are the same. take care ♥

[18:38] Lanai Jarrico: coming from an avie who walks around in a bikini and wants to be interviewed with no real reason lol

[18:39] Jiggli Juggs Velvet (paulachco.babii): coming from a lackluster beat reporter who asks a public person to "fill in " the topic and theme.

[18:39] Lanai Jarrico: yawns *plucks you away*

[18:55] Second Life: You have blocked this Resident. 

Jiggli Juggs Velvet (paulachco.babii) is being charged with failing to register as an SL sex worker with a Trojan virus, not returning her blockbuster videos, and engaging in 12 1/2 counts of anal cybersex with residents of Alabama, Georgia, and Florida, and 22 counts of engaging in oral cybersex with residents from Kansas, Massachusetts and Rhode Island where it is technically illegal.  A warrant is out for her arrest.

If you or anyone you know is a victim of this SL criminal please don’t hesitate to leave your comments below.

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