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18 Years and counting...Got SL News? Get it Published! Contact Lanai Jarrico at lanaijarrico@gmail.com
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Sunday, August 28, 2022

AVIE POLL QUESTION: What is the funniest thing you ever witnessed in Second Life? Share your story!

 


Hey, friends and SLE fans! I hope you are having a lovely weekend!

It’s been a while since I randomly interrupted your regularly scheduled Second Life

and I hope I’m not being a pain in the prim.

Still, I was wondering if you were interested in participating in a new AVIE POLL section

I want to introduce SLE readers based on the stories I collect from you, the readers!


SLE will ask a question once a week and if you have something to share just submit it through this form link with your screenshot proof if you took a pic! You can remain anonymous or share your name it is entirely up to you!


At the end of the form, you can also make suggestions on other topics and questions you would like to see addressed by the SL community.  Let's make this interesting!


AVIE POLL QUESTION:

  What is the funniest thing you ever witnessed in Second Life? Share your story!


Submit your story here:


https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSftLxr_ZsWNBaYjfLjS9UAPMBCdFP3jsiGBaI2Td8kj

CvwtvA/viewform


DEADLINE: SEPTEMBER 3, 2022


Tuesday, March 15, 2022

SLE POLICE REPORT- Heevahava on the Loose in Second Life! 1000L reward for his capture!




March 15, 2022, 11:00 am SLT.- It was reported by a local Dj that DonZiligen accidentally intercepted a tip with his big head that was meant for the DJ during a set and refused to return it when asked. In turn, he resorted to making nasty comments peppered with racist remarks and scurrying off with the stolen $500L lindens.  


Here is the actual report: 


“I am urging my list to ban DonZiligen from your groups, your clubs and anything else he may be involved in. Today he was at a set I was hosting and someone sent him linden by mistake that was meant for a tip.   He refused to return it to the person and then was talking a lot of mess to him but wouldn’t answer me or the DJ.   Please ban this guy he's no good for sure.” -Anonymous DJ



Upon further investigation, DonZiligen was recently put on medical leave from Amaretto Horse Ranch after injuries to his wrists, elbows, and jaw sustained as a heevahava. He has been linked to countless drag, furry, and escort lounge robberies, trying to return a used and broken blow-up doll to the local Freebie sex shop, and illegal sperm sales of REALISTEK breedable racehorses and dogs.


Fines exceed  $100,000L, 75 hours of community service cleaning hot tubs and bathrooms at Maui’s Swingers Resort but heavily supervised so he is not within 500 meters from any farm or domesticated animals.  1000L reward for his whereabouts. Share your tips in the comments below.






Sunday, April 4, 2021

AVIE POLL: EMBARRASSING SL STORIES IN SL- Lanai Jarrico Reporting…




Everyone has been in a situation that has caused embarrassment and shame. In Second Life, even avatars can go through moments they wished never happened. There are three ways things can go after the incident. Either the embarrassed party avoids their peers, creates an ALT to start a new SLife or they face the shame, address it, laugh about it and move on. Some of the stories avatars shared are cringeworthy while others are pretty funny. Names have been changed to protect the identity of the embarrassed avie.






Vinny: “I don’t know if I should be sharing this story because it was so embarrassing but it was planned out so good I have to share it. Back in the day around 2008-2009 I used to be part of a roleplay mafia family. We spent our time hanging out with other families and sometimes wars between families started.  While warring,  I got an IM from a girl from the rival family. I was suspicious at first but was surprised that she was flirting with me. I thought she was being sincere so I flirted back. We talked and made jokes for an hour or so and then she invited me over to her place. When I showed up we were immediately in her bedroom and she started to emote undressing so I began doing the same. Right when we were both naked and about to have sex the wall dropped down and suddenly there was an audience of mafia family members sitting as if in a movie theater watching us on a stage. Everyone was laughing and I quickly realized the joke was on me. I was so embarrassed that I teleported out of there so fast. I ended up creating an Alt and never showed my face around mafia families again!”




Ryan: "Most embarrassing story. Ok well, I have one that a lot have seen but I rarely told anyone about. I was attending a business function for a company that I work for. Now, this function had a lot of other business people that owned Modeling agencies, fashion creators, builders alike. There was a raffle at the beginning event and everyone entered it. During the rest of the event with drinks and dancing, most of us forgot about the raffle. They broke for announcements and called my name as the winner. They asked me to come up on stage in front of everyone and accept my prize. It was a gold and diamond watch. They asked me to put it on so all can see. Well little did I know putting it on was a joke and I was automatically violated by an oversized Pokémon in my no-no place. The shock and laughter it had caused me to keep it on a bit longer than a normal person should. Once I composed myself I removed it but the whole party had a good laugh. Some of them to this day call me Pokey, yeah not so funny if you ask me."





Colleen: “OMG LMAO! Once I was sitting at the beach with a group of friends just chatting. I needed to go afk for a couple of  minutes and accidentally left my microphone on.  My rl boyfriend  decided he wanted some quick sex. Instead of logging off we ended up doing it right there in my room. I’m pretty vocal and I’m not ashamed of that but when it was all said and done, I realized the mic was on the whole time!!!  After washing up, I came back and my friends were still all sitting around. When I got back on mic, they all started laughing and I had several IMz trying to warn me but it was too late. That was so embarrassing.”


Karen: “I once joined a contest for best lingerie and I know I looked good. To my surprise but I didn’t win. Can you believe that? I think the contest board was rigged, I felt so embarrassed I called the cops!”



Stacey: “The most embarrassed thing in SL is the multiple relationships with multiple accounts...We are feeling insecure who is behind the avatar when we met someone 1st time until we verified and know better the person...happened to me to meet someone who liked me so much and me the same, but was an alter avatar and of course he was parteneriat with someone in his main account. I refused to be 2nd person in his life because i thought I deserve more than to be a umbrella of bad weather...another embarrassed thing is too many men want multiamorouse relationship they have many women around and call themselves Dominants but in fact are so pathetic weak persons who want only multisome sex.”




Mel : “12 Years ago seems so very long ago in Second Life yet the time has flown by quickly and the changes I have come across has helped me grow daily, with new experiences and adventures along the way. However none of the moments I have experienced can far succeed the embarrassing moment I experienced on my first day of Second Life. As many who have been here for years  may remember, coming into the welcome area, The grand news Island, standing there wondering, "What in the heck do I do next"? Finding my way around a bit and asking some questions after 30 minutes of trying to figure out where the chat section was and Yay I was on my merry way. General chat was my best friend for the first several hours. I had met great people and very helpful to say the least. Along the way of exploring this pixel body that once upon a time was the most exciting body to me, I met a gal  who had "well lets just say a very great sized chest" and of course I thought now that's an upgrade to this poor looking pixel I am walking around in. So I asked, where I could buy something like those? She gave a location and then said, however did you know you can have fun in here?   Of course a bit naive to what she truly meant I said of course, and that's what I am looking for is fun. She giggled in the chat box and said well then you will be needing some privates too. Privates? I thought to myself why would I need some privates and what is she getting at? She slipped me a LandMark and said click that. I got to this store and wow, "primed boobs and vaginas", I laughed but then felt like well maybe that's just something I should have, maybe my body doesn't have a vagina. Suddenly it occurred to me I had no clue what was needed to buy things and so back to general chat I found myself questioning and learning about Lindens and how to get them. Those boobs were a must. I got my Lindens and yay I had a box with boobs and a box with a vagina in it. Back to chat asking the same poor girl in my private box  how to unpack and get them on. After about 30 minutes of feeling gullible and standing in a sandbox I was giddy with boobs and a vagina. I found myself wandering around new places, flaunting what I had purchased above. I met a guy and we started chatting. He had been on SecondLife for a year, he said. I thought wow this is my lucky day, someone who knows what to do in here. My time was running short though as I had to leave for work soon and I asked him how we could speak later, he added me. I stayed for another ten minutes and was telling this man all about my new boobs, like he was really fascinated about hearing it just as much as I was to tell it. I also thought to myself how much I liked this guy and how he spoke, that was until he said, " perhaps you should consider  looking down for a moment" With no understanding how to use my camera, he did a quick teach, and by the time it zoomed downward I realized I had been peeing myself with my new Vagina and for God knows how long while there with him. I did my best to find that hud and when I did find it I hit the wrong button and before I knew it I had white droplets going down my leg too. All I could do in this moment with my poor embarrassed pixel was sit back in my chair and say I am so sorry. I left SecondLife for 6 months after that. 

Upon returning, he messaged me. His first question was, Did it take that long to fix your Vagina?  All I could do was laugh.”



Steve: “The most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me was when I first started playing SL I picked up on emoting from the very beginning. I started working at ladies only clubs as a stripper. Now working in a venue like this afforded me nicer things without spending real wife money. Now after working in this kind of environment for a few years you not only develop your own clientele base but you are so developed a report with some of the people who come to watch you.

I had been working at a particular club for several months and this one Avi we will call sue came in as she normally does. She had a habit of not speaking but some people in SL do not voice so it's no big deal. Well after spending about 10K she messages me about a private dance. i have no problems so i take her into the VIP lounge and proceed to give her a show. She tipped me 5k then asked if i would be interested in escorting for 50k. Now i have never done that before and the amount was too good to pass up i did however ask if she was a male in rl and she said no so i agreed. well we went to my place and we proceeded to get busy. when we were done i heard this big burly voice say thank you then she poofed, I haven't stripped since.”


Katrina: “The most recent embarrassing moment in Second Life happened while researching for my first article for the SL Enquirer.  I was clicking on beards to find out who the designers are that most guys are wearing and not paying any attention with the general chat room lol!  One particular designer was coming up all the time, then I get an IM from a friend, then a few minutes later another and then another.  So finally, I stopped working on the article and started reading these IM’s to find out I was actually tugging away on friends' beards like crazy in a club with a few of their partners getting a little upset with me!  OMG so I explained what I was actually doing in regular chat for all to read, then the room exploded in laughter, was I ever red in the face!”



Embarrassing moments happen to the best of us. How you handle the situations will determine your Second Life experience. If you experienced an embarrassing moment in SL, share your store in the comment box below.



Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Our Most Embarrassing Moments of Second Life - LadyLoveDr Reporting





We've all had them, that moment when it becomes too late to take something back or reverse time to stop something that had happened.  The timing seems to be perfect but not in your favor.  No matter what the episode is, in one way or another we've all stood at the front of the firing line.  Our faces turn red, we feel our ears get hot, our stomach does flips and we get a little nervous.  I'm talking about that embarrassing event that never happens when we're alone or no one is online that we know.  I roamed Second Life polling crowds of people to see what their most embarrassing moments were.  I enjoyed hearing them so I figured why not share with the readers of the SL Enquirer.



Elsie W:

My most embarrassing moment would have to be when I went to buy a house with friends. I happened to see one off in the distance.  After contemplating all the houses around me, I went to check out the one in the distance I had seen.  I proceeded to teleport my friends in, upon which I noticed it was furnished and some other people inside. I then explained out loud what I was intending to do, what I would change, what was wrong with the colour scheme. After I had chatted endlessly and without limits for a while I found out it was a private house and the other people who I thought were potential buyers were in fact the owners.  Oops!



Kaijah C:

I had just bought a new skin.  I was super excited to put it on and flaunt around in my new look!   After the skin was on, I put on my cool zipper open jeans and went shopping for another hour.    So there I was, painting the town in my new-found skin and favorite outfit, feeling like I was on top of the world!  Then I cammed to look around at some stuff and happen to catch a glimpse of the front of my avatar, i was like what is that? To my surprise, my privates had been hanging out for all to see!  Talk about busting my bubble.



Black W:

My most embarrassing moment in Second Life is when I was talking with someone and they seemed really familiar.  I just couldn't put my finger on it.  Maybe I had spoken with them at another period in our SL lives.  We chatted for quite a while, getting to know each other better.  All of a sudden, my phone rings.  That was my friend on the phone.  As it turns out, I did in fact know him the friend was calling to inform me that I was talking to her husband in SL.  It wasn't my fault but I couldn't help but apologize to her.



Mr R:

I was in the middle of a group event that I couldn't leave and my girlfriend popped on.  She started chatting me up.  Things got a little hot and heavy.  I was going back and forth between the group chat and the private IM with my girlfriend.  I typed in this really hot comment about what I wanted her to do with her mouth and the moment I pressed the ENTER key I realized that I had just send that comment to the group I was in, instead of as a private IM to my girlfriend.



Lady L: 

I was spamming groups and land chat, trying to sell some parcels I had.  I teleported to a sandbox to work on a prim that would help me announce my posts.  A few minutes after I landed, an IM popped up and a guy asked how much.  I said "For you, only $1536!"  He asked for how long?  I said "$1536 and you own."  I quickly realized I had teleported to a BDSM sandbox and he was not at all interested in my land, he wanted to buy me to be his slave.  That's what I call sending someone an IM at the perfect time.




Got a funny or embarrassing story to share? Use the comment box below

Monday, December 22, 2014

Interview with a Disgruntled Elf- Lanai Jarrico Reporting…


This article is back by popular demand

Christmas is fast approaching and I wanted to interview Santa because he is this holiday’s most popular mascot. However, it seems St. Nick was upset with me and too busy trying to re-edit the naughty list. Apparently someone hacked his computer and saved a bunch of avatars from receiving lumps of coal this year.  *innocent look*


I tried to interview Mrs. Clause but she declined my offer stating that they felt I was the culprit behind the hack attack. Not having much of a choice on who else to interview, I decided to ask one of Santa’s elves who was in a barn shoveling reindeer berries into a pile and going on a verbal rampage to himself.

Interview with a Disgruntled Elf





I approached him with caution in case he had the nerve to swing that shovel at me for sneaking up on him.


Lanai: Hi there Mr. Elf, I was in the area and was wondering if I can interview you about Christmas in Second Life. Do you have some time?

Elf: Hey Lanai what are you doing here?!? First of all, my name is Jeffrey and I don’t think you should be anywhere near Santa’s house. Word around the North Pole is you got into his naughty list and did some rearranging of names.


 Last night he went on a drunken rant about how you walk around the grid like you are the queen of Second Life and snooping around doing all kinds of mischief.

Lanai: Is that so?

Jeffrey the Elf: He has been watching you for some time now and is looking for a tabloid that will interview him for a tell-all about you. From what he was saying, you have been a very naughty girl and just a heads up… he has some paparazzi shots to prove it.


Lanai: So? I’ll admit I did a couple things this year that would totally cause a riot between my FWBs, things that would make a stripper blush, cause an intervention, or make my parents cry in shame but that’s my business!  I’m grown.

Jeffrey the Elf: I have to admit that is kind of hot and I wouldn’t mind being added to your FWB list.

Lanai: oh good grief.

Jeffrey the Elf: Anyway, Santa has a special present for you since you have been so bad on top of hacking his computer. He sent me out here to round up a steaming pile just for you.

Lanai: OMG are you serious? Whatever happened to being innocent before proven guilty ? Besides that, Jolly old St. Nick was going naughty list happy on all my friends. I had to do something!

Jeffrey the Elf: Well little lady you caused some serious havoc here in the North Pole! Santa was on a budget because of his gambling and drinking problem so some avatars had to be put on the naughty list. There are not enough of us elves to make up all the presents this year.


Lanai: Why? What happened to all the elves that handled the Christmas load last year?

Jeffrey the Elf: Well *looks around* Santa is cheap. Besides that, he really sucks as a boss, treating us like sweat shop workers.  Can you believe he tried to pay us with McDonald coupons for free Sundaes and 20% off Sleigh Rides around the Clause Family Compound. To top it all off,  as a bonus, he gave us each a fruitcake! 

Aside from all that, look what he has me doing now? If I didn’t need a place to stay I would be soaking up the sun on a nude beach somewhere on the other side of the grid.

Lanai: Interesting. SO anyway Jeffrey, is there a way you can sugarcoat Santa and all the wonderful things he does for others on Christmas? I want to give my readers a pleasant Christmas article.

Jeffrey the Elf: *Sighs* Santa is one of the kindness mascots you will meet.  He’s always jolly and…

Lanai: Ok nvm. That’s enough fluff.


Jeffrey the Elf: SO Lanai, how would you like this gift delivered?





Lanai: Ummm… send it to 945 Battery Street
San Francisco, CA 94111 C/O: Linden Lab









Merry Christmas SLE Fans. 

Have a Save and Happy Holiday!










Special Thanks to Phil & Glossom Jonesford

Friday, September 5, 2014

This goes out to the Haters of Second Life who just love to say things about me. Would you like a little Hateraid to help you swallow this jagged pill? – Lanai Jarrico Reporting…


How to Poke fun at the Nonsense:

As I sit back and write this all I can do is laugh at the middle school antics that occurs on a daily basis between people who like to talk about me and others in Second Life. Things always get back to me so I am fully aware of what is being said. Let me entertain you all with a few of the things that got back to me in recent days.

 Let’s begin with my favorite. Apparently I am a whore who sleeps around to get to where I am at in Second Life. The only thing I can say about that is thank goodness that SL sex is 100% birth control or I would have a united nation of prim babies running around with no baby daddy listed as my partner or helping me run The SL Enquirer.  Aside from that, It took me 9 long years and I am just exhausted already having to do work laying on my back or up on my hands and knees. Someone get me an ice pack and some knee pads pleeeease!




What I am wondering is, how exactly does prim sex help me in anyway unless I am in desperate need of reporting news inside my own SL bedroom? I guess to each his own right?  If all the guys, furries, trannies, women, bots, animals and plants out there that bedded me decide to speak out, go right ahead!  I forgot to get your number. I might want to call you again. Just remember, you can’t stay for breakfast.

The next piece of shittalk I’ve heard was, I’m too busy and I bail on projects. The “being too busy” part is absolutely true. I’m a pretty busy person working with people who want to work with me unless I’m off sleeping around like some insist I am doing lol….

Bailing on projects. Hmmm, sure I have done that a few times. It wasn’t because I was being lazy.  Some of it had to do with the person or people I had to work with who expect too much of me or overstepped what I was willing to do.

The other reason for having to bail is because I had real life things to attend to.  Either way, in Second Life, ideas happen and sometimes they never take off. If that was all my fault then I apologize for that.

Having a real life may be a surprise to some people who forget to clean their house or feed their family because they are too hooked on Second Life. Crucify me for being a no- show due to real life.



Another rumor that strikes me as odd is that I use people. Use them for what? Prims or content to put in my paper, that more than likely benefits them?  Anything else I need I can get on my own.  Come on Hater, you’re killing. What else ya got?

 In Second Life, you cannot take from anyone that is not willing to give you their time, lindens, objects or whatever else. So, this one seems to be a failed attempt at reaching for BS to pin on me.

The next one truly makes me laugh. According to a source close to me with “Lanai gossip meeting” connections let me know that there are a couple media sources in Second Life who are a bit ass hurt that The SL Enquirer received the Avi Choice award for favorite media source in 2013. They are complaining that SLE didn’t deserve it.  


Well, let me stand up on my soap box in all my glory with my award and say this, I didn’t vote for myself and I wasn’t even at the ceremony due to real life. That award could have been handed to them if they worked hard enough and their readers weren’t voting for me.

 Good luck this year to all media sources! If I don’t receive it, then I am happy for the media source that does. I understand the hard work put into media and the commitment needed so more power to them if they get to place that award in their media center for all to see.  

Crowns and titles are not my motivation to do what I do, the fans are and well…they voted so I suggest the haters should go complain to all of them.




Last but not least… rumor has it that I’m a bitch. Well I sure as hell can be when I need to go ice cold on someone.  I’m not going to sit back and not speak my mind when I have something to say or dislike how I’m being treated.  Why should I have to deal with people who love to dish out their BS and expect someone to kiss their ass?  Got a problem with me? Email me or show up at the media center. Otherwise look like an e-punk and run to someone else.

 I make no apologies for having to cut someone off or go off on who deserves it. Otherwise the only opinions that matters to me are from the people who know me best and have worked alongside me through the years.  I have to admit, it has been an amazing journey with the right people and they know who they are.

With that said, the next time one of those haters of Second Life decides to place my name in their conversations, they should make sure they are making an accurate statement and most importantly be aware of  whom they are sharing it with.  The worst backfire is that person just relaying the message back to me, while making fun of the hater.

 Not everyone is going to like what I do.  Big deal, all I can do is move forward and keep company that is worth having.  I know I can’t please everyone. Some people are just disgruntled unhappy folks that need a swift kick in the ass to get any kind of emotion out of them.

 Just remember if you are a hater,. unless you are a perfect saint with no faults, you have no business judging or hating on others. Do yourself a favor.  Shut up and worry about your own life and what you do. One day you may find yourself on the other end of the stick without a voice as loud as mine.  So to the haters, if you approach me and need something and your name is on my list of haters, you will know exactly where it will get you.

I understand as long as there is a need for conversation, there will be a need for gossip. For as long as I could remember Second Life has been the perfect forum for anonymous haters talking about others. Some get away with the things that they say and others receive the same foul tongued display that they shoveled out.


One of the things I realized being on the foul end of the stick by people who think they know me or pretend to be my friend is, as long as people mention my name ,good or bad, I am creating some kind of stir rather than being forgotten and unheard of.  So keep spreading my name across the grid, it is free advertising for me.

Even people who I have considered friends have plunged a knife in my back and still gracefully greet me with a smile. That’s ok fake hater. The way I see it is, when I log out at night I can lay back against my soft pillow and fall fast asleep knowing that I have poured hard work and dedication into what I have built in Second Life. I do what I love. Plain and simple and my true friends are a part of my SL experience.

The fake ones who stand on the sidelines squandering their time making me the topic of conversation are wasting away opportunity to do something that they can be proud of.  Instead, they focusing on what the next person is doing and trying to belittle them.  I call this the crab in the bucket syndrome. All they do is climb on top of everyone else to try to get ahead. The one thing I cannot stand is fake people or half assed friends. If you can’t keep it real, than keep it moving.

For the most part I do what I do and if people don’t like it, then they can put in their own efforts to find a better solution that doesn’t include SLE. Either way, hating on me because of the position I’m in, only shows jealousy and envy.




To the haters that smirk on that comment and try to deny their motives. Take a chill pill and ask yourself, what is the purpose for your foul comments? Do you think it will make me crumble like a house of cards or only make me stronger?

 You choose your poison.

 Just remember the minute you need me or SLE, I won’t be there to help you. I’ll be too busy working on projects and being involved with people who contribute something positive to the SL community.




Lanai Jarrico

Sunday, June 22, 2014

What's the Wildest Thing You've Ever Done In SL?- Ccoursey reporting...



I found out one thing when asking this question:  Everyone has different thoughts of wild.  The definition of wild is uncontrolled or unrestrained, especially in the pursuit of pleasure.  It seems some people were prone to stop talking and avoid the question completely, leaving me to only assume they thought I meant wild as in sexual. 






 It doesn't have to be, and the stories I ended up with will have you chuckling, giggling, or maybe thinking along the lines that "I've gotta try that".  Huge thanks to everyone who participated.

The man from this story agreed to participate as long as I kept his identity a secret.  So we'll call him John Doe.

Cris:  What's the wildest thing you've ever done in SL?

'John Doe':  Sex with me and five women- both pixels and skype all at the same time.

Friday, May 2, 2014

AVIE POLL: Catching Avies off Guard – Glossom Resident Reporting



What If a stranger contacted you to ask you something that makes no sense? Would you ignore it, reply nonsense back or would you try to understand?  Are second lifers humorous or grumpy? To which side the scale weighs more?




The SLE’s PE (SL Enquirer’s Private Eye) took action on finding the answer to those questions and went around asking avatars some very off tilt questions to see if and how they would respond. The result was simply hilarious.

With a stained reputation and a big label on my forehead saying “Crazy”, I have a feeling of mission accomplished. Today avatars will login to a more confused and hopefully humorous Second Life.

Given the nature of this mission, we will keep the participants names anonymous. Sit back, enjoy and try not to laugh. I challenge you!

 
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