Last night I uttered a “BRB
mosquito”. The conversation we were having in-world had me so plugged to the
keyboard that I thought that the insect trying to land on my knee had to be
only one, so I allowed it briefly.
I had sandals and shorts even as it was a
cold night and it had been raining, my door had been open earlier because Max the
dog is so indecisive.
Couldn’t resist and scratched, but
instead of scaring the flying annoyance it got smashed as it was drinking me. I
saw ball like remains in my hand and turned to look around, but there wasn’t
one mosquito, there was a band of sister’s mosquitoes, maybe eight at quick
count.
“BRB mosquitoes” would have
sounded strange and “BRB mosquito attack” exaggerated.
For some minutes I went off,
using the technique my Mom taught me many years ago, you see she is a total
sweet, but one scary woman hitting you with a rolled cloth, I don’t want to go
into how I earned that lesson, but I
will tell you the basics, you roll a cloth -a towel works fine- and use it in a way that ricochets to your target. With a tight rolled cloth and a swooshing
sound I turned mosquito serial.
By then my BRB polite allowance
had for sure ran over, there must be a maximum time for BRB’s don’t you agree?
So I went back into the conversation, it was a call, a call to action, one of
those calls that life throws at you and if you answer you turn into a hero, and
since nothing like had happened to me and it was Second Life… sounded like an
adventure, but...
Actually I did not answer many it
many times before, since this situation has been happening for months. But why
would I do anything? It is not my problem, it is not my pub, and I just left
there, now visiting rarely. But more than that, I was worried because there can
be consequences, will be plenty of bad blood, with people hurt and angry and
frankly SL is for fun, no?
I didn’t answer that before –But
it’s getting worse and worse- a friend said.
The Dying Green Giant.
Maybe the questions should be
about something big, maybe about how power is shifting in our world, from top
to bottom, to everywhere from anywhere and especially about how virtual
communities will evolve? But if you ever felt abused at a chat place, don’t you
want to do something? That someone should tell the owners, the managers and to
those pesky door bouncers, that some things are just not okay and that you will
not be bullied anywhere.
Imagine if one of the most famous
SL places, was in reality and behind curtains an abusive bully pool, which has
actually become an unwelcoming place? This
is the story of how The Blarney Stone Irish
Pub, one of the Second Life’s darling icons has been taken hostage by a few
bully staffers, with lots of people
abused, and no one caring to do anything. Managers allowing it, or turning
their eyes away, meanwhile scores of long standing regulars have left either
voluntarily or ejected.
Yes Ham Rambler as many real life
successful sim owners, is very busy and he must have too much trouble already. Most
of us can only imagine the frequent drama that rains over owners. Like another club
owner named Coco, told me –I was constantly being contacted for stuff that I
had no clue about, now I keep my club for the staff only.
But what when bullets come from the staff against the public? An
overzealous staff that thinks their duty besides house rules includes, proper
grammar, not doing wise-comments, of course no religion or politics. With poor
manners and in a bossy way. Staff that thinks they have a sacred duty to
protect a TOS which frankly they don’t understand to start with.
One person said “This police
attitude we could fix quick and easy… Residents
are not LL employees, there is a system in place to send reports, so they
should better stop pretending to give themselves that importance… And this is
actually in TOS, not pretending to act like a LL employee”.
The Blarney Stone Irish Pub at
(SL) Dublin, has been running steady over nine years. “We were here before you
were born” a sign reads inside. While an
ex-regular says: “Now I get angry every time I go there, they seem to have more
staff members than clients”- She also told me that- “The Blarney Stone self
implodes every now and then and it’s due by now.
Drama can kills sims and empties
even the most patient owners. And
everyone hopes that SL Dublin is sturdier than say Mill Pond, yes the same Mill
Pond that was owned by Micala Lumiere. You see, Micala was a professor interested
in virtual communities and she formed one of the most vibrant, fun and fascinating
communities in world, The Open Latte at Mill Pond. But with SL success, drama arrives.
Like other owners, Micala resembled
the Giant of that old story, the one when the giant had a precious garden. Close
to that garden lived many children, who wanted to come to play. Of course those
kids would ruin the grass and they would spoil the fountains, steal the flowers
and do the mess that kids do. So the Giant built a wall around his garden.
Eventually the kids found a way to sneak in, when the Giant slept.
Micala had envisioned a utopic place
open for thoughts and a free community but one April Fool’s morning, she decided
to raise rules over the bratty “pondies”, because she was fed up sick with
complaints and stuff.
In the storybook the Giant
becomes the Gentle Giant as he takes down the walls, he learns to live and play
with kids, with their laughter and energy. But Second Life is strange, it’s all twisted.
There the Micala’s start with open gardens and they invite all to come. And
many happy people arrive, but also the not so funny elements arrive, the trolls
walk in and the griefers grief, and by the time when the drama queens cry, a
wall of rules looks very appealing to desperate owners who gladly pass the pub keys
to those “volunteers that devote their personal time to run the place”.
Convenient answer by Ham Rambler, SL Dublin’s sim owner, and smarter than Micala’s
wall or rules, me thinks.
But Micala had no tip jars, no
music shows or staff, so she understandably and rightfully, took down her Mill
Pond and the Open Latte coffee place down. The avatars acted like the place
belonged to them, an angry mob rejected the rules and that was that. By that April
fool’s afternoon Micala was one angry giant, she groaned and with a single slap
of her bony fingers she pressed the buttons! Sending avatars flying, ejected
and banned, the land was closed.
Today you can find 12 different
groups of “ex-pondies” with names that can only tell you how hurt folks were. But
SL should be fun, right? Are these communities open public places? While that’s
should be easy to answer, the matter if the visitors have rights, should also
be easy to answer, another easy mosquito to kill.
-If you really want to nail it,
you also have to address the fact that most patrons are freeloaders and if they
really want some respect they should cooperate with the costs or just go along-
a pub manager told me. She, a redheaded avatar added- the freeloaders are the
worst complainers.
-At least the Staffers give their
time and commitment to the places, you know. – A not so good looking owner
said, and I thought he had said it all, when he added – The real deep thing is
that land is too expensive in Second Life -he continued- I have no clue how
well is LL doing, but keeping a sim alive in Second Life just for pleasure it’s
extremely expensive, we are forced into a tip-jar economy to support it.
-If the staff keeps the tips to
buy hairs and clothes, I don’t care –he seemed to shrug when he said - I just
wanted to have a sim that reflects my city and country. They are happy, they
keep shows running and for tips really.
Another person replied that –Rightfully
it has to be said that Premium Account
holders, pay their share to keep SL running, and shopping indirectly chips in
as well, so if the Staff thinks they need to be tipped for their bully hosting,
they have to think again.
So the situation includes that these
places lack sustainable revenues or funding. Owners are often happy to let the
staff keep most of tips, since good Staff
brings life to the place. Owners, being busy people, trust their place in their
hands. Sadly this situation allows power hungry and control freaks to creep into
authority positions.
I have been told that the former
Dublin Manager reined over a book of rules the size of yellow pages. But
apparently at today’s Dublin, staff is
in, and patrons are tolerated.
Just look what happened to landmarks
like the Junkyard Blues, where in
order to enter the club, you have to go to an improvised looking area and there
you need to request a staff member to invite you into the group. “Our response
to rampant venue griefing” a sign explains.
Around the metaverse owners are
under siege.
But in contrast, at Frank’s surely the most popular elegant
venue, they answer with flowers. A properly trained staff treats visitors extremely
formally, with salute formats for things from welcoming to addressing situations.
At Franks when it is needed, they first say hello and then they go to the
matter. At Dublin, bossy staffers are extremely rude and pretend to force
behavior over you.
Many of us who have worked at the
services industry, know that for example in restaurants the waiter needs to
perform a number of actions, from the moment a patron walks-in to the first coffee
offering.
So, how far do we go in trying to
control virtual communities? How do we create real value trade-offs between
patrons and clubs, so clubs become sustainable? Where are we heading into the
future? How do we grow into these questions? Do we need to be treated like
children? A client I had in real life, a renowned maker of one Internet success
story, once told me, “Virtual communities tend to balance their own” –he said.
To what my little voice replied, “Yes, but we need to provide them with the
means to do so”.
In Second Life this happens in
places where there are no forms to balance the power between staff and patrons,
which creates pressure and anger. Especially when the staff is not service
staff, but the VIPs of the place.
One answer may be to provide a simple Comments and Suggestion page or object,
and to hire people who understand the meaning of “Service” in “Service
Industry”. Understanding that true leaders are servants more than police, would
be nice too.
At the moment in Blarney Stone it’s
normal to see people being advised, “Do this”, “don’t do that”, “we don’t do
this here”, “we have rules”, “respect them.” Of course in SL there is no
physical violence. There are only
ejections. So I saw many people getting them, most under house-rules, but some
not really, they were borderline, subject to unprepared intolerant staffers using the house rules at their own bending interest.
It is incredible that you have to defend your self from Staff by explaining
them the rules or if TOS is not their place to enforce.
But one things that honestly
baffles me is how normally smart people allows these wannabees to hold any power over them, questioning this is not
disrespect, it is resistance.
This goes further at Blarney
Stone, they do bully-like tactics like this: a manager will instruct regulars
and their more moldable staffers not to talk to a trouble-maker, not to
encourage him to stay, to ignore her. They can also ask a friend of theirs to
run you over and push you, “sorry if I am pushing, I haven’t rezzed” and they also
allow their friends to break the rules in front of you, only to show-off their
muscle. Blarney Stone is not an enjoyable place to go right now, no wonder it
is struggling financially.
This is the same Staff that does
not allow a Mafia Night Event, or decides what a proper event is and what is
not. It goes on and on, the stories of people banned and ejected are
incredible, it’s like the current top dog -a particularly bitter person- is bully
attacking regulars systematically, allowing only those that bend into her ways.
Educated, polite, professional teachers, educators, house moms, lots of people
has been ejected and banned out of pure abuse and reaching to simple mood. Why
I am not saying any names, well actually I am its, Harm Rambler and Jane1
Bookmite who are responsible for allowing this situation to creep. The sim
owner and a long standing manager they are smart, they know this and still allow
it to continue.
At Dublin in SL, you may witness how
the bouncer game plays out, just as an example and not to be biased, let’s call
this person… say: “UglyWitch”, this once
security staffer or bouncer, actually has bullied herself into becoming a “manager”,
UglyWitch loves good behavior and safe keeping of peace by rules.
When she is around, this could
happen to you at the Blarney Stone Irish Pub.
Another avatar lets call her Super Girl, using a Glamshack joke pastes
a chat that resembles a real IM conversation:
[19:45] SuperGirl: [27:78] Cap Carver: “so this morning I woke
wearing pink undies...”
This is followed by a club
warning by UglyWitch.
[19:45] UglyWitch: “That is not
allowed, you are breaching TOS”
[19:45] SuperGirl: “No UglyWitch...
because there is not such a time as [27:78] it is also called parody, and it is
okay…”
[19:46] UglyWitch: “Ah.”
What is painful to see, is that
during the following weeks, that joke becomes UglyWitch’s favorite and she
wears it down until it’s a dead horse, and not even using fake time stamps to
be proper. So blatant, but who will tell
them anything? They make the rules. They bend them as they wish.
So one night, yours truly, earned
an ejection. See? I said it -I
earned it- I was self-centered and not careful of others feelings while pretty
slammed with some Mezcal (…it was tequila, but mezcal was just a literally
license for appearing more dangerous…) I discovered you cannot mention “Oh
Sherry” during a Ramstein dark-metal-trash DJ event, because apparently Steve
Perry hurts the DJ’s feelings at the pub...
Okay, I did more than that... but I spare you of the details of that
incident, because this should not be about a single incident happening to a
given person, but we could use it to think about other bigger issues of course.
One person puts it like this -“Imagine
it’s a sport, say boxing, and the referee interrupts the fight after each blow,
how fun would that be? Or like it was USA Football or NFL thing and they throw yellows
flags after each play, or Soccer and the referee becomes the center of the
action“. That breaks the experience of anyone –he said- But if you complaint,
you are a trouble maker and you are out.
This past week-end, I was
appalled to discover that things got worse. I learned that there had been
repercussions after some –otherwise- tiny incidents, and I cannot even mention
the avatar names because they fear actions against them, how sick is that? I
will just say that my IMs got capped with nonsense that may make you vomit a
little. So sick that I really had to write this and find a brave publisher that
is not afraid of becoming permanent banned from that place, like most likely I
will.
For some of the commenters on
this article, wiser people, it’s better just to leave. One person simply said
–Kill the dog, the rabies is gone
– Get rid of trouble staff, problem solved, is not that hard.
Doing my research, I was
desperately looking for help, and I luckily found it. I found an answer and a guide
that even made me lower the tone of this report. I went to TED.com, that many of you know,
and right there on the front page I learned from, Scilla Elworthy, how to
confront a bully without becoming a thug yourself. A must see if you like
social changes, Mrs. Scilla helps advice countries in conflict, on topics such
as nuclear weapons policy. I think we can import some of her knowledge into our
Second Life petite dramas.
You have to see the video. I find
amazing the way she approaches the subject of peace, basically she says that in order to confront conflicts,
first you have to start by thinking
deeply on self-knowledge, your strengths, your weaknesses, in order to raise your inner power. She sounds like
a sage, more than a peace advisor.
Mrs. Scilla tells that true change has to come from inside, from
your heart, and you have to be open to listen
to the others. Second you have to recognize what scares you, because fears –on both sides of a
conflict or argument- feed off the attention that we give them, then she says its okay to be angry –she adds- “Use your
anger to fuel your progress” - very Yoda like indeed.
After that, she advises to cooperate with the other side of the
conflict and and most important is to make a commitment with non-violence. In Second Life we would say a commitment not
to drama.
A few years back I asked Ham
Rambler, why people could not dance on top of the table bar? His answer was
remarkable, he just said -“I just want
it to be as close to a real pub as possible”. Something in his answer was heartfelt, a
little sad, after that I shut up for years, and even played for the home team
many times, especially when Jane –Dublin’s manager- asked me to. I know she
tries hard and she is honest, even as she has gone overboard and she does not
know it. Her “Hi kids” can only be relied with “Hi mom” and I know she just
don’t roll clothes like mine does.
I can’t answer those questions I
think my calling to kill mosquitoes is only to let people know, how far this has
gone and how many “regulars” have left the Blarney Stone after these thugs have
become VIPS. In recent Dubln’s management has cleared their “banned” list,
maybe in a desperate effort to recover some of it’s lost revenue.
Ham Rambler, lose the
UglyWitch-like staffers and get real service culture into the place and it will
be great again, not that hard!
If now, I don’t acknowledge the
good persons that devote their personal time to the Blarney Stone, this article
would be incomplete. I know for a fact that the three sims that make up Dublin, also employ hard working devoted
people and they are trying their best.
It is not causality that it was one
of the top places. It´s a great place when Colly is rocking her folk Irish
tunes, when K LongLegs is hosting (Sadly “LongLegs” is one person that seems to
obey the “don’t talk to her” tactics). Blarney is okay when Gwen mentions the
detailed action in SL Radio or Sunday nights at Clarissa’s famous themed events
and even when Lucy explains in her sweet and well educated manner that you are
doing something wrong, during those moments you know, you are in a special
place, those old and ugly textures almost make you feel you are in a casual
Franks or say a real Irish pub.
If you are a visitor, a club
owner, manager or staff. In order to know what people has to say. Maybe, like
many of us and especially the Micalas of the world, you also believe that virtual
communities can evolve and we do it by facing the challenges, not by shying
away from them or pretending they are not here.
Remember, “Questioning the rules is not disrespect, its resistance”.
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