POLICE REPORT: BREAKING NEWS! Lanai's Encounter with Karen at Starbucks leads to charges

 

January 5, 2023- Lanai Jarrico was nearly arrested for disorderly conduct, simple assault, and battery with a rolled-up newspaper outside of Starbucks. 

Karen Smithstofferson, 45 of Honeysuckle Tart Estate filed a complaint while holding an ice pack over her eye and crying hysterically late Thursday afternoon claiming Lanai Jarrico attacked her with what she thought was a steel baseball bat for no reason. Karen also claimed she simply stopped by Starbucks after an exhausting shopping trip at Costco.  She asked for her usual nonfat venti Peppermint mocha Frappuccino Blended beverage, with no vanilla, Caramel Macchiato when Karen accused Lanai of shoving her resulting in a one-sided altercation. While Lanai stood there staring at her like she was an idiot.

Karen Immediately requested to speak to the manager while calling the police on speed dial.  The barista witnessed the entire interaction and immediately asked Karen to leave the premises. As she gathered her drink and headed for the door she turned to Lanai and called her a terrible journalist and held up her middle finger until she got outside. 

According to video footage, Lanai was practicing social distancing as she waited patiently for Karen to finish her rant before stepping up to the counter to order a hot chocolate and a vanilla almond biscotti.

Witnesses say Lanai was approached outside by a seething Karen who was seen pacing back and forth mumbling nonsense.  Lanai stood there for a moment just observing until Karen stepped into her personal space causing Lanai to swing a rolled-up newspaper knocking Karen out cold on the sidewalk.  

Within minutes police arrived on the scene to investigate the situation and interviewed  both women while administering first aid to Karen. 

 It was determined that with the rash of Karenism spreading like wildfire at various Starbucks, Walmarts, Costco, Target, Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods, Walgreens, Taco Bells, Hobby Lobby, and numerous Hair and Nails Salons, it was well deserved. Lanai was let go with a warning while Karen was arrested for unlawful use of 911 for a non-emergency and fined 500L for littering when she spilled her drink on her way down to the pavement. Lanai was given a lifetime supply of Starbucks for her bravery and courage as well as her own personal booth complete with fresh flowers.

*This article is for entertainment purposes only. No Karens were hurt in the making of this article, just a slight dent in the rolled-up newspaper.

Share your Karen Stories in the comment box below!

Read More

BREAKING NEWS! Lanai Jarrico Taken Down by Christmas Tree

 

12/23/2020- SLE Police Report

In a tragic turn of events at The SL Enquirer Media Center on December 23rd the beloved by some and hated by others, CEO of The SL Enquirer, Lanai Jarrico was unexpectedly laid out cold by an overly decorated Christmas Tree.  It happened early Tuesday morning as Jarrico attempted to hang one last ornament. Only time will tell how much damage was done to the tree.

According to witnesses near the scene, Miss Jarrico had a bottle of Jack Daniels in her hand. She appeared to be drunk while singing "Deck the Halls with Santa's Baaaaaa**s".  When the tree came crashing down.

Sources at SL General Hospital say, pine needle removal is underway and Lanai is expected to make a full recovery. No further comments were issued about her blood alcohol levels and drug test. However, one insider commented about a strong smell of marijuana as paramedics rushed her into the ER.

The Second Life Community can take a sigh of relief that Jarrico will survive this horrendous incident.

If you have an additional information about this incident , please use the comments below!

Read More

BREAKING NEWS! An Attempted Griefing on Lanai Jarrico by quil Biscuit goes wrong

This just in! 

Sunday August 21, 2016- Sundays are usually days to unwind after a long weekend of club hopping and chillin with friends. It is also the day that griefers run amok in Second Life seeking unsuspecting avatars to pester. One such griefer by the name of quil Biscuit decided to skip the safe hubs and sandboxes and go straight for the head of SLE media. Little did he know Ms Jarrico bites back…

[12:47] quil Biscuit: hey Lanai , have you got like 60L i could borrow

(without question Lanai drops him 60L)

[12:49] quil Biscuit: cheers FOR DATTTTTTTTTT

[12:49] quil Biscuit: BITCHH NIGGGAAAAAAAA THANNKKKKKKKK YOOUUUUUU

[12:50] Lanai Jarrico: *shakes head* yw broke ass

[12:50] quil Biscuit: :Danother twentyll help if you got it to spare Rich Bitch :P

[12:51] Lanai Jarrico: nah but I can definitely make you a star

 [12:51] quil Biscuit: LMFAO with your news station yeah ? :P

[12:51] Lanai Jarrico: send me a mugshot

[12:52] quil Biscuit: nah your okay :)

[12:53] Lanai Jarrico: aww punking out on sending me snapshot of your avie?

[12:53] quil Biscuit: Punkin out what does that even mean hoe ....?

[12:54] Lanai Jarrico: lol the only bitch ass hoe up in this conversation is asking a woman for 60L. That's a damn shame and on top of that you think you are all cool because you curse in caps. lmao!

[12:55] Lanai Jarrico: I hope that 60L  is worth it you  clown.

[12:55] quil Biscuit: I dont think im cool ..........

[12:55] Lanai Jarrico: lol  you’re a clown

[12:55] quil Biscuit: Deep

[12:55] quil Biscuit: Dis shit Deep

[12:55] quil Biscuit: Amma Cry Nyugga

[12:56] Lanai Jarrico: lol tell me where you are. TP me if you got the balls

[12:56] quil Biscuit: Your so serious about everything woman .....it Really brings out your eyes

[12:57] Lanai Jarrico: is that you being a bitch not trying to tp me?  Come on bring it. If you are going to grief someone make sure it’s with a noob or something.  Tacky ass

[12:58] quil Biscuit: Bring what ? a Condom ... a Beer a glash of shardinae ... Greif you havent seen greif :( I LOST MY 12th DOG IN A FIRE THATS GREIF

[12:59] Lanai Jarrico: here 10L for the entertainment. Bye broke ass.

[12:59] quil Biscuit: Cheers Love you bitch ... See you ON DA SET NYUGGGAAAAA

[12:59] Lanai Jarrico: see you clown.

[13:00] Second Life: quil Biscuit is offline.

Read More

Latest Scam Alert Reported Thursday March 6, 2014

Some Latin Clubs have come under attack by a scammer. The attack alert orginially passed around was translated into English and sent out again on Friday march 7, 2014 after the threat was verified.

A notice sent out by Delerium to vendors and customers warns if anyone receives an object named RADAR FREE V44, DO NOT WEAR IT!

 Take the proper precautions to delete it. This object allegedly will activate a money transfer from your Second Life account to the object’s sender. It will than duplicate and send itself to other unsuspecting victims. To help protect others against the spread of Linden stealing attack, warn your friends and groups members.  This type of scam is focused on business and club owners. To protect yourself, never click on any free items that are passed to you by a stranger. Always know who you are receiving items from and ask questions if you are suspicious!

Read More

The Green Lanterns & Policing & Personal Safety within SL – Shaneos Howlett reporting.

We are taking a closer look at personal safety, griefing, policing within Second Life. Here is what you need to do should you be threatened by a griefer or your personal safety becomes in jeopardy.

First of all we answer the question ... What is a Griefer ?

Read More

Investigative Report on the ONDUTY Penis Part 2- Conducted by Lanai Jarrico and Hal Jordan

The SL Enquirer has been working closely with The Green Lanterns of Second Life in an effort to keep the Second Life community informed about griefers that can affect resident’s virtual experience in a negative way. The Green Lanterns is an organization of dedicated volunteers who have made it their mission to help protect the SL community since 2006.

SLE was contacted by The Green Lantern’s Head of operations, Hal Jordon (greenlanternexcelsior). He had concerns about a product called ON DUTY Penis and wanted to make the SL community aware of this griefer tool as well as an open letter from “Anonymous”   that was posted last week asking for our help.

Read More

SLE Investigative Report Part 1: Open Letter to The SL Enquirer About the ONDUTY Penis- Lanai Jarrico Reporting…

“Hi, my name is (Anonymous) and I run my own clinic on my husband’s land. Way before I met my husband and I was still getting to know how to do things in  Second Life,  I wouldn’t say I was a newbie but I was still learning about the community,. a guy asked me for a dance which I had no problem with until he asked me if I ever look at my hip when I dance with someone. It was an odd questions and I said no. 
Why would I?"

"He proceeded to tell me maybe I should look. I immediately stopped dancing with him. When I did, to my shock and horror, I got a message saying Congratulations I would be having a baby in 9 days! Then it sent me a message instructing where I needed to go to have the baby. Apparently his ONDUTY penis HUD went right through my jeans. I was angry and I asked him what the hell did he do to me and he laughed and walked away as if what he did was nothing and I was nobody."

Read More

HAVE YOU SEEN ME? MISSING PERSONS IN SL

I was recently approached by a friend inquiring about the whereabouts of a mutual friend. It took me a second to realize that this person being sought after hasn’t been around for quite some time.  Due to our busy lives, sometimes it is difficult to keep track ofall our friends and  months might pass before we realize..Hmmmm… What happened to so and so.

This seems to be the case with our dear friend Jax Streeter.  Once a dominating rock star across the grid, he quietly slipped away leaving friends in Second Life bewildered and wondering where he could have gone. Some are speculating he has gone incognito under an assumed ALT due to obsessed groupies, others fear he has given up on Second Life and high tailed it to the real world.  The SL Enquirer is putting out an Avie Alert to see if anyone out there has seen or heard from him. If you have any clue where Jax Streeter is, please contact us immediately!

Are you looking for a missing avie? Email us and we will post an alert for you.

Find My friend

Read More

SLE POLICE REPORT: Aquadrom Games Scamming Gypsy on the Loose! Susan Baguier

Scammer Report: Con artist Susan Baguier owner of Aquadrom Games is being blacklisted by SLE for bilking residents out of thousands of lindens in game winnings.

Shame on you Susan!

It is a fact the Gambling in Second Life is “illegal” and against the terms of service. To rid the community of all Gambling Casinos, auto play scripts were disabled by Linden Lab. However, gaming venues still exist and the machines used today are considered games of skill. Unfortunately,  gamer scammer exist too and seem to find ways to bilk unsuspecting residents out of Lindens.

This week, it was reported to The SL Enquirer that Susan Baguier, owner and operator of Aquadrom Games has been doing some shady business practices and abusing the gaming industry in Second Life. Her scam starts off with spamming unsuspecting residents and conning them into visiting her gaming venue.

Susan allegedly entices her victims by setting some machines with smaller payouts to gain trust and victims move on to the higher payout machines where the cost is higher to play.

 The unsuspecting victim plays with hopes of winning the big jackpot and then never receives the payout. Susan Baguier is being accused of acting as a concerned attendant and then logging off or reset the game and passing it off like it was an accident. Two victims of her scam have come forward to tell their story to SLE.

Read More

SLE Police Report: A silent pushing mime narrowly misses a bitch slap from Lanai

On the evening of August 15,2013 , fawaaz2013, a practicing mime of sorts (without the makeup) entered the SL Enquirer media center with a suspicious backpack and what appeared to be an idle arm sticking straight up in the air. 

Read More

BREAKING NEWS! There is a sloppy BOB THE BUILDER Griefer on the Loose!

SLE POLICE REPORT -Lucifer Skizm- 8/6/13

It has been reported to the SL Enquirer that a Bob the Builder type of griefer escaped from a local  SL quarantine  recently and has been running amuck across the grid. Witnesses say they saw what allegedly appears to be a local clown, Lucifer Skizm defacing property belonging to Glossom Jonesford. 

Apparently Mr. Lucifer decided it was cool to take his shovel and start excavating land around a home that did not belong to him as well as board up windows and drop random objects and a  flea infested bed around like a slob.

The victim is shaken up and can’t imagine the atrocities that took place on that, in her quiet humble home. It appears this griefer used her residence to do his dirty deeds and leave his mark. Hazmat has been called to the scene.

Please be on high alert. Lucifer might be traveling with two goon accomplices; Annice coba and Demerol Texan. If anyone has any information on the whereabouts of this griefer, please don’t get to close.  Call your local pest control unit or take matters into your own hands by muting and banning this festering clown.

Got a griefer to report? Contact Lanai Jarrico

Read More

Alledgedly The SL Enquirer is the longest running (true) and most expected back stabbing news source on the grid. (false) According to this Avatar? I'll let you be the judge of that... - Lanai Jarrico Reporting...

     As most readers already know. The SL Enquirer likes to keep it real and address issues that present themselves in a professional manner but when I feel like I have to dodge and weave sucker punches that most would get tagged with, it gets me upset…

This person wants to make a poster with false claims... I'll tell the full story...

Read More

THIS JUST IN... Griefers gone Wild! - Lanai Jarrico Reporting...

image retrieved from wapday.com

 SLE Police Reports- September 24, 2012* Date fixed

It has been reported a few times since last week that there is a rabbid ringleader and a group of circus clowns running amuck here in Second Life © . Three incidents may be related or, could be separate sets of nitwits all on the same mission to create drama.
One case..... let’s just say some peeps have no shame. These griefers have been difficult to track because of the ability to create alternative avatar accounts, also known as “Alts”. One concerned SL © resident offered some resolution and said, “estate manager-ship does not allow you to rez on land you are not allowed to rez on otherwise. It lets you take the land and make it your own to change land permissions, but that is probably not what anyone wants to do. Group ownership/membership is the way to accomplish that. Just an FYI”.

According to sources close to the SL Enquirer, it seems this band of griefers have put their wits together and come up 2 cents short on a half assed job. Residents are left wondering why anyone would go through great lengths to harass others, especially at Art and Literature events, and with members of the press.

The community is on high alert and rumors are swirling that these griefers are using the SL event listing and going right down the line hiding behind pasty noobs with a griefer sidekicks nearby, ready to blindside unsuspecting avatars.

CASE BLOTTER-August-September

Read More