The softer side of kink” -Pen Dragon reporting

Second Life has a lot to offer. The choices you can make are almost limitless and fueled only by your imagination. It’s not hard to agree that there is something for everyone. Most people enjoy shopping, going to clubs and living a pretty normal, happy life but there are those whose tastes and preferences run more on the wild, kinky side.

At some point almost everyone has come across a sex sim, maybe even a BDSM sim and wondered what all the hype and interest was about for these places. Some may even take a deeper look out of curiosity and may or may not have found something they were interested in exploring while others are turned away because it offends their sensibilities or find it too taboo. Some think of BDSM and imagine whips, leather, cuffs and chains and see it as a form of emotional and physical abuse.

The term BDSM is like an umbrella; it covers many varied and different things. The acronym itself means Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & submission, Sadism & Masochism. Within each of those categories there are an almost unlimited number of specific kinks, decisions and lifestyle choices with just as many people who make those choices and live the way that suits them best. Many who do not know about that lifestyle may be under the impression that there is only one to participate in BDSM, only one way things are done.

Allow me to introduce you to something different about BDSM, an aspect of that lifestyle that is quite often misunderstood and maligned. It is called the Daddy Dom (Dominant) and babygirl relationship. At some point you may have seen someone with a Daddy tag or a babygirl tag and wondered what that was about or what it involved. Some have the idea that it is incestous or a form of illegal age play, but as you’ll discover, but it can be something completely different.

                      

The roles in the relationship, Daddy and babygirl, are similar to that of a Dom and a sub (submissive) insofar as the Daddy is the head of the relationship and the babygirl consensually agrees to obey his rules and decisions and agrees that she belongs to him. While this is typical, there are open and even polyamorous Daddy & babygirl relationships. To me one of the most beautiful things about a lifestyle relationship is that it is defined by you to meet the needs and desires you have instead of following traditional societal standards of how a relationship works.

What differentiates a Daddy babygirl relationship is the dynamic on which it is based. Typically a babygirl behaves in a more innocent, childlike manner allowing her Daddy to care for her and allowing her to be free from the stresses and drama of the world around her. That is what leads to the biggest misconception about the relationship, age play. The babygirl is not pretending to be a young child, she is simply behaving as a child might, there is no age given. A babygirl can be any age, it’s the state of mind that drives her. She may want to color in a coloring book, be given a bath or read a story. Sometime it is just a temporary need to retreat to a more carefree mental attitude. The Daddy is responsible for meeting her needs when she is in this headspace. He will take total control and make sure that her needs and desires are met. The Daddy is also responsible for her discipline, as well as rewarding her for good behavior. This is another BDSM aspect of the relationship.

Another popular misconception is that the relationship is incestious. Because of the title Daddy, many think of this role as that of the father and the babygirl being the daughter. Typically, that is not the case, however; as states earlier, there are those who choose to roleplay that particular relationship, but it is not the norm. The Daddy is a father-like figure, but not the father. He is still her husband, boyfriend or Dom. The Daddy is her caregiver, her lover and her disciplinarian and in many cases gets to know his babygirl on a deeper, more intimate level than what most relationships allow.

As with any relationship there is, of course, a sexual component and within the umbrella of BDSM this can and often does involve bondage, sadism, masochism and the aforementioned whips, chains, and cuffs. Again, every relationship is different, tailored to the couple involved  and no two are the same. But it is the use of such devices and toys that will deepen and strengthen a relationship. The deep trust a babygirl, or submissive, must place into her Daddy or Dom in order for her to consensually submit herself to him and allow him to use these devices and toys, trusting that he knows what he is doing, is what brings about the unsurpassed intimacy of a BDSM relationship.

Just as important as the sexual encounter can be, so is the time taken afterwards to make sure that the babygirl or sub is okay both mentally and physically. This is called aftercare and is a vital part of the experience. This is time taken to mend any wounds, comfort and calm. This reinforces the bond between the two and deepens the relationship further.

Any BDSM relationship can be complicated, involved and satisfying but, and this is my own opinion, the relationship between a Daddy Dom and his babygirl is a special one. It’s a deeply trusting, inconceivably intimate and extremely loving one. Most people find love, at least once in their lives, but few will ever know the tight bond that develops between a Daddy and his babygirl.

If you are interested in learning more about this lifestyle, I strongly suggest you visit the Babygirl Skygarden or Omega D/s library.

                    

Additional Information

SLURL: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Broadwater/138/32/302

OMEGA D/s library

Group: !Omega

SLURL: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Misty%20Valley/239/75/3005

Babygirl Skygarden

Group:  .:BabyGirlsSkyGarden:.

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The D/S Lifestyle in SL- Interview with Doms, Mistresses and Slaves about the meaning of a D/S Lifestyle – Camury Reporting

D/S is an acronym for Dominance and Submission that are directly related to the practice of sadomasochism and part of BDSM (bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism and masochism). D/S provides fans the possibility of obtaining pleasure through the erotic power exchange, which may or may not involve submission, psychological torture and other means that hold some misconceptions.

The D/S lifestyle for many people who don't understand it- see it as taboo or something "morally wrong". However, talking to some people practicing D/s in second life, I realized that the vast majority of people who play D/s in second life, do not practice this relationship in their real lives.

Some avatars I interviewed told me that the D/s relationship SL is generally an erotic activity and the sessions are permeated with virtual sex. However, D/S in general is predominantly a source of pleasure and not always all about sex. It involves rules and compliance, which may or may not have sexual overtones. Depending on your agreement, a dominant, for example, may require that his/her submissive is online at specific  SL times.

By default, the practice requires, honor, trust and respect.  These practices are carried out with the mutual consent of the participants, causing them to enjoy the pleasure together.

In a D/s, power is given to the dominant. The submissive must obey, by free will, performing tasks and obeying orders.

Miss Ebbage is a Slave in SL. I asked her about the submission and slave relationship with her owner, and she told me: “ The Dominator/submissive relationship is based on the pleasure of giving the submissive and to command the dominant. The most important is that the meek are the property of their dominant. The submission does not have the option of serving more than one Dominant unless their dominant specifically instructs you to do this.”

In Second Life, it is common Dominants are addressed with noble titles such as Sir, Lord, Queen, master, owner, among other titles chosen by the dom. Submissive individuals can identify themselves in several ways from the most humble being a servant, slave or even sissy is commonplace for those who like to be humiliated.

Mr. Colossus is a Master in SL. I asked him about how it is as a master, and he told me: “The master is the dominator.  One way of expressing D/S relationships in-world is the use of a collar that is belonging to the Top (Dominator or Dominatrix) concerning its use to submissive. When receive the collar, the submissive must honor its owner and the teachings that his owner gave him during the so-called period of training”. The use of collar is widespread in second life, even among couples who claim not to use other practices of the D / S relationship.

Miss Visconti is Mistress in SL. I asked her about the D/S relationship, and she told me: “In a D/S relationship, the dominant imposes rules to submissive avatar. If the rules are not followed there will be punishment. The Spanking is a form of punishment, which is widespread in second life. In addition to the spanking, other more recreational activities such as petplay, or the use of ropes, sales and gags can be used to humiliate and punish the Submissive. Several devices can be used with the same purpose as objects that simulate physical and sexual torture.”

The relationship D/S should be seen as an erotic game for adults where the submissive  individual is controlled in detail, from the clothes he/she wears to the things he or she says and does during the game.

 After the conversations I had with the supporters of this practice in the second life, I discovered that many people come into play D/S are curious.  But in general, are little lasting relationships that dissolve quickly, as soon as one party is tired of the "game".

My conclusion is that there are few who take the D/s relationship seriously. The vast majority consider it an erotic game and just one among so many other ways to have fun in Second Life.

What are your thoughts on D/s in Second life? Share your comment below.

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3P: Power, Pleasure and Passion- A Peek Inside Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism and Masochism- Silky Soulstar Reporting…

That’s BDSM for short, and a fertile ground for unsavory types to take advantage of sweet innocents.

All judging and secret thoughts of kinky danger aside, for many people BDSM is just an edgy concept that excites them to explore physical or emotional limits. How edgy, depends on how much you want to push.  As a submissive, do you trust your Dominant to take you safely on a path that won’t scar you -- but instead will be borderline-euphoric? 

We know BDSM to be a lifestyle of choice for so many SL residents because they think we can pursue the passions that come with that experience more conveniently, or safely.

Perhaps.

How much safer can we pursue a BDSM lifestyle in SL than in RL?

“In SL you can poof, but in real life you cannot,” explains Master Jae Avedon of Power Pleasure Passion.  “And there are also laws on physical pain in reality, that don’t necessarily apply in SL. There is a lot of mental pain in SL. We tend to deal with that.”

Pleasure Power Passion (abbreviated P3) is a sim group that does the subject of BDSM justice, lending a cerebral air of credibility to an often misunderstood space.  The SL Enquirer had a chance to interview key members of the group on the subject of role playing safety. And while somehow making all of his P3 constituents more than comfortable, Master Jae controlled the interview as you would expect a true Dominant could.

In Second Life, just as in reality, there’s more to BDSM than just one role player’s liking to order other role players around.  And there is more to Dominant/submissive relationships than transfer of pain, or risk.

TRUST

“A Dominant knows a submissive will never use her safe word,” says Mrs. Zam Tibbits also of P3.

Alternatively, “give a submissive trust and they break it, they break it.  The relationship falls pretty quickly,” adds Master Jae Avedon.

On the subject of pursuing that trust, safely, the members of P3 know how to address various perils head-on.

“We kind of deal mostly with the Dominant / submissive relationship. D/s light,” says Master Jae.  After some thorough matchmaking, “Submissives go off with their Dominant, and the Dominant sets the relationship. Trust gets applied over time. The Dominant evaluates how well his submissive reacts to stimuli along the way. That’s one way we go.”

The other way is more provocative. In the sim’s most risqué offering, submissive and sim owner Tricia Velde brokers the auction of other submissives to their prospective Dominants.  “The female has total control of when she is sold to a male.  Everything goes through Tricia.  All communication and meetings are brokered through Tricia,” explains Master Jae while elaborating on the element of safety involved.

Carosell, P3 event coordinator, respects how the group deals with predators in particular.  Master Jae expanded on that point for her by taking a sanity check beyond the confines of SL’s metaverse;  “Predators in SL are phishing. We call them Financial Dominants. Look, we don’t know who these people (in RL) are.”

It’s that kind of rationalization across SL and RL that makes P3 work so well to address the topic of safety, and ultimately makes the group so successful with its members.

P3 asks people looking to enter into relationships to go through a variety of interview stages.  Members answer questions and provide ratings for their limits on various subjects on a scale of 0 - 5, and are then matched by a matchmaking process.

So the sim offers a variety of paring processes and opportunities to make certain relationships get courted safely.

Other elements of the P3 group include a library with original theses on the subject of BDSM roleplay.  There are also classes and social groups for submissives and Dominants. Subtle details factoring safety abound within the group activities; including permitting submissives to attend Dominants workshops so that they learn more about Dominants in their relationships -- but also not allowing Dominants to join workshops for submissives so that submissives can be protected in an environment that encourages them to openly learn and participate.  That being said, “submissives are encouraged to not be rooks and rollover,” adds Mrs. Tibbits.

The group at Pleasure Power Passion likes to think by actively teaching points on loyalty, joy, communication, trust, honesty, respect, and forgiveness that they approach the topic of BDSM with a fair bit of safety. All the sim processes, information, chat sessions, and classes the group hosts are ways to get everyone involved in this space safely. If you are at all curious to pursue the topic further, and safely, attend one of their group sessions or read up on the subject in the P3 library found via the link below.

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Vesta%20Amor/42/213/22

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