Once again a holiday pops up and Lanai is on the assignment to locate a holiday mascot to interview. The previous mascots seem to be intimidated and go out of their way to avoid her but she always seems to get them to give in to an interview. This year is a bit different since many of the leprechauns have been in the witness protection program. One lucky leprechaun was available and had no choice but to answer her questions.
Lanai: Ha! There you are, you little rascal! I knew I would find you stocking this grocery store with your Lucky Charms Cereal. Now that I have you cornered. Will you do an interview with me?
Lucky the Leprechaun: AHHHHhhAHHHH! *falls of the shelf* If it isn’t the infamous Lanai… Who told you I was here? I bet it was that good for nothing Cupid. The way he was ranting at the Avatar Anonymous meeting about you, he’s the only buffoon who would cave to your demands.
Lanai: Maybe…. Maybe Not. You aren’t exactly the most popular holiday mascot in the bunch so it was easy to find you at the local Aldi’s
Lucky the Leprechaun: Why don’t you tell me how you really feel. Sheesh, the nerve of these dirty blondes. That’s why I stick to redheads…
Lanai: Look here you little imp. With all your relatives in the witness protection program, you are the only loud mouth gnome like creature I could find for this interview. If I had the choice I would have interviewed a Keebler Elf in the next aisle over.
Lucky the Leprechaun: *gasps* How dare you compare me to one of them! They make the worst cookies ever!
Lanai: Hello and you make the worst cereal ever. Have you tasted your own marshmallows? What are they made of? chalk and food coloring?
Lucky the Leprechaun: Are you kidding me! How dare you insult me in my place of employment. Now if you don’t mind I have shelves to stock!
Lanai: Listen here you wannabe elf on a shelf, don’t make me fold you like a lawn chair and mail you to the north pole. Let’s get this interview over with so I can move on to better things.
Lucky the Leprechaun: What! Oh no you didn’t! What kind of reporter are you? Going around harassing and threatening holiday mascots. You should be ashamed of yourself. Don’t you have anything better to do?
Lanai: Don’t flatter yourself and stop being so hostile. Don’t you want to be known by the SLE readers on St. Patrick's Day? It should be an honor. It may even promote that poor excuse for a breakfast cereal you so proudly endorse.
Lucky the Leprechaun: There you go again! Was that insult necessary? Why do you have to be so mean?
Lanai: Why do you have to be so difficult? All I wanted to ask is what your plans were for St. Patrick’s Day.
Lucky the Leprechaun: If you promise to leave me alone and never talk to me again.I will do this interview.
Lanai: believe me when I say.. I promise to never talk to you again or eat that cereal of yours.
Lucky the Leprechaun: I get it, you don’t like Lucky Charms. Since the price of sugar has gone up. I’m forced to find alternatives. To answer your question, my plans were to go stay in my shared room at the halfway house with my bunkie, Netflix and Chill. I have been sober for 2 years now so I really don’t see no point in celebrating St. Patrick’s Day. It’s what got me in trouble in the first place. I’m on work release right now over the repeated DUI’s on my moped.
Lanai: That explains the monitor you have on your ankle. Look, I didn’t come here to cause you more grief then you are already in. Get back to stocking those shelves. Before I go, have any idea where I can find the Easter Bunny?
Lucky the Leprechaun: As a matter of fact I do. Him and I have never seen eye to eye. Back in mascot college he got caught with a pound of Easter Grass and tried to blame it on me and we both got expelled. I have been looking to get him back! You will find him at The Ganja Farms where they have the best breedable cannabis on the grid. I heard his plan was to smuggle it out in Easter baskets.
Lanai: Thank you for snitching… I mean… helping me out.
Lucky the Leprechaun: Just keep your promise and leave me alone for good.
Happy St. Patrick's Day Ya'll!
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