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Thursday, October 31, 2024

GET TO THE POLLS AND VOTE! LANAI JARRICO MAKING SL AWESOME AGAIN!



Politics and Religion are the worst conversation starters in any arena if you are not ready to knuckle up with those who do not share your views.  All it does is create drama and chaos, especially with Karens. This is a very important election year and your voice needs to be heard! As you know every vote counts unless you mail in your ballot and it ends up in a pile of ashes because entitled ignoramuses like to start fires in hopes that they make a difference. 


This year we are adding a new candidate to split the chaos right down the middle.  None other than the infamous Lanai Jarrico.  She can hold her own in Second Life with 18 years of experience dealing every f*ckery you can imagine in the virtual world when it comes to speaking her mind and bringing something different to the table.  In light of all the recent events that have been clouding the elections in particular this P. Diddy fiasco that seems to grow every day taking away from the Election Spotlight.  We are asking that no bottles of baby oil be brought to any political events within Second life. We would also like to kindly ask that anyone wishing to storm the Sl Enquirer Media Center with any insurrection rhetoric, you will be automatically given a lifetime ban and clowned hard in a griefer police report.


President Self Elect, Lanai Jarrico promises very important reforms that will enhance your Second life experience and protect the good people of this global community. She believes in the right to protect yourself. She doesn't own a gun .. yet but she holds a pen that would slice through a crowd like butter so rest assured you have a guardian in the virtual world that will serve and protect you by any virtual world storytelling means necessary.


Her first day in office she will sign executive orders on the following topics to ensure every breedable pet is safe and unharmed by anyone looking for a cheap meal.  


When it comes to the economy. To each their own.  If it's a strip pole, you get to keep all your tips! Pimps and hoes will have the same rights!


 Land Barons can continue to hike up home rental prices all they want. It’s cheaper to be a premium member and get a free Linden Home… just sayin.


For the whole month of November anyone who messages lanai Jarrico with “ I voted for you!”, will receive a FREE One Month Ad. (Limited space available.. First come first serve!)


Broke Newbies will no longer be frowned upon for begging for lindens. The SL Enquirer has job opportunities so send the broke avies to us! We  also promise free shoes


Next order of business will be making sure every avatar is treated with the same respect received. Lanai will practice the golden rule until the opposite party forfeits their right to be treated with respect.  There goes the Grid Wide Peace talk.


Griefers who continue to harass others and create issues for no apparent reason will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the non existent law and will receive a lifetime archived SLE police report that will tarnish their avatar name and reputation forcing them to create an ALT with the same consequences. That’s Griefer Reform!


UFOS ARE REAL, There goes your full disclosure. If you ever looked up at the sky and said WTF is that? Then you my friend… saw an unidentified flying object.


I just want to end this with a very important quote. Presidents come and go… WU TANG FOREVER B*TCHES!



VOTE FOR LANAI JARRICO FOR UNOFFICIAL PRESIDENT OF SECOND LIFE!




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