Misadventures of Fetish Club Hoppin’ in SL- Lanai Jarrico

Ever hear of vore RP?  No? Me either up until recently after 18 years in SL.  Let me explain…. I went out for a night on the town with Josh, my top writer as my wingman. He told me I need some excitement in my SLife. I agree but daaaaamn. I’m down for being spanked and getting my hair pulled and all that kinky stuff but this little tiny lizard approached me in a club and asked if I ever did vore rp. I stood there perplexed and felt like a deer in headlights in the middle of the dancefloor and nearly stepped on the Geico lookin mascot.

[19:59] “Little Lizard”: Hey, do you rp vore? :)

[20:00] Lanai Jarrico: What is that?

[20:01] “Little Lizard”: Vore is a roleplay where you'd swallow a micro like me whole. There is no chewing/scat or anything of the sort. It can be sexual and can involve other fetishes such as sub/domme or feet. It's fun to try if you think you'd consider trying sometime?

[20:03] Lanai Jarrico: um never heard of it and not sure thats something id like to try. [20:03] “Little Lizard”: No worries, perhaps another time.

It sounds like a choking hazard. I doubt I’ll change my mind…

Josh AKA “Wingman”:  OMG.  The Boss is feeling “feisty”  I remember the last time this happened, she ended up being banned from THREE regions.  Now Lizard Boy has her thinking is it her MOUTH he wants access to. Can’t let that happen again! Why isn’t there a mongoose around to take care of this pest? I’ll just stick close and keep an eye on things.”

 I have to admit, I am rusty at my approach and how I react to being accosted by men… err lizards in clubs. In this case a booger sized lizard at my feet. With my wingman in tow, I felt safe enough to move along to average sized avatars and randomly approach  men and throw cheesy unsolicited lines at them to see what sticks. On top of that, I was sober…. So this went as well as one could expect from someone who hasn't been on the dating scene in a long time.

Josh: OK…this might not be so bad.  One or two quick dances, and then I will try and steer her back home where she can sleep it off. Not sure if she’ll go.  She has been raving all night about some “incredible edibles”  whatever THAT is.  Must be some new kind of candy.

I couldn't help myself when I spotted a handsome avie by the name of Dany pop lockin and droppin it on the dancefloor. I just had to IM him as I stood close to Josh for moral support and an easy escape plan.

It went a little something like this…lets just call him …Dany.

[20:27] Lanai Jarrico: Hey Dany, are you into sucking mayonnaise covered toes?

[20:28] Dany : haahahahaha don't know never tried that

[20:29] Lanai Jarrico: Bring tomatoes and a slice of cheese and we can make a cheap sandwich

[20:30] Dany: and who is bringing bread

[20:30] Lanai Jarrico: I said cheap lmao

OK it’s obvious, I don’t have any game and I can’t be taken seriously sober ... .Josh grabbed my hand and got me out of there before a food fetish fight broke out.

Next stop was DSC ake Dog Sex Club. I’m not sure why I even landed there but it happened. I mean… I am a pet lover like the next person but  this place was definitely not for me…. I was gone before anybody said a word.  I think you need a rabies shot to cross the yellow ban lines.

However, It did get a glimpse of what appeared to be a wolf standing upright in a speedo next to a scantily clad bunny rabbit. I didn’t stick around long enough to see what happens when a wolf meets a rabbit. Something tells me… it would have gotten really ugly and I would have been traumatized for the rest of my Slife.

Josh:  Yeah.  Thank goodness we didn’t stay long, and the SL Enquirer budget did not allow us to o cheap to spring for the 150L Group joining fee.  I guess she could have handled the Dalmations if push came to shove…..but it got really sketchy when I saw her being eyed by a couple of Clydsdales. Time to skedaddle,. That’s for sure!

Next stop The Cuckholding Wife…

Ahhhh yes! What strong minded woman wouldnt want to collar her man and make him watch as she did the nasty with a random dude and then make him clean up the mess. I had to break the ice…but just before I could muster up another embarrassing pick up line… I got an IM from  “Roam”. Here's how that went down.

[20:51] Roam:  good evening

[20:52] Lanai Jarrico: Hello to you

[20:52] Roam: how are you doing?

[20:53] Lanai Jarrico: I'm great. How do you feel about rolling in canola oil and spam while pouring hot sauce all over me?

[20:53] Roam: here for a story or pleasure?

[20:53] Lanai Jarrico: both

Sighs… I don’t think fetish club hopping is my thing. I just don’t know how to act.

Josh AKA “Wingman”: Whew.  Finally dragged her out of there. Now she wants to go to a place called Maui

OK, One last hurrah before I commit myself to just being a reporter and trying to keep myself out of trouble….

Josh AKA “Wingman”:  Finally!  The LAST stop of the night. A place called Maui Swinger Resort.  Arghghghg.  She actually asked me if there were teeter totters and slides in addition to the “swings”? Geeeeze.  That woman is going to get in serious trouble out here…and not by any kindergarten cops on the playground.

I put my Novice tag on and stripped down to a Bikini. The music was good and I was workin the boardwalk dancefloor with my best hip hop dance moves. I was feeling good and trying to read the room. Not much was happening except for a bunch of avatars in IMz standing around, some getting it on on the scattered beach chairs and beds and others just chillin at the bar. It didn't take long before the IMz started rolling in. One was surprised that I was “still” a Novice looking as good as I did and he offered to “help me out”. Apparently you have to gain referrals by givin up the goods and demonstrating your emote skills to a Maui Swinger in order to move on up the slut chain.  I aint about that fuckery so I called it a night and took my sorry ass to bed.

Wingman Josh:  OK.  Finally got her settled down.  I am torn in my duties as Wingman.  Do I stay with her and give my intimidating stare at any jerk who tries to get close?  Or do I move away and watch her from a block away, scoping out any who approach her and doing a quick background investigation using the Linden Lab police records so I can toss any obvious bad actors?  Just as things are settling down, she tells me she just got a IM from some dude she used to date named “XXX” and he wants her to “come back to his skybox to see his etchings.  OMG!  ETCHINGS?  This guy sounds like a reject from the cast of Saturday Night Live. Crap…She’s going with him.  I guess I will have to wait and get a full debirie tomorrow. 

Last night got nowhere fast, the “candy” I had before my outing with Josh was wearing out and I found myself yawning uncontrollably while “XXX” whispered sweet nothings in my ear. Nothing happened… I promise. I basically wished him a good night and went home, laid in bed and added an entry to my diary.