THOROUGHLY MODERN MARILYN: THE WOMAN, THE MYTH, THE LEGEND - JOSH (THOMAS1 BELLIC) REPORTING

One of the really Cool parts of writing for SL’s longest running and most respected publication, is that I often get to rub elbows with some of the true Greats of the Visual Media.  It’s a tough job, but SOMEBODY has to do it. This week, I had the very real pleasure of interviewing the star of the Screen, the original pin-up gal, and the beloved dream girl of people the world over  (OK…OK…Mostly of MEN the world over)  - The incomparable Miss Marilyn Monroo.

I caught up with Miss Monroo at her seaside home on the west coast of the Blake Sea, where she graciously agreed to answer my inane questions about her rather checkered career as the quintessential  Movie Star

Josh (Thomas1 Bellic) (JB):  So Tell me, Miss Monroo.  Just how did you get started in acting?

Marilyn Monroo (MM):  When I was 16, I was hitchhiking to Hollywood and was picked up by a famous movie producer in a shiny sports car. When he heard that I wanted to be a singer and actress, he said he could help me.  And the rest is history!

JB:     Did you ever get nervous before a big movie scene? How did you handle it?

MM:   I sometimes do get nervous, but my agent gives me a pill or a taste of whiskey to calm my nerves.

JB:    What kind of hobbies did you enjoy outside of acting?

MM:   Knitting and gardening are my favorite hobbies when I am not being a movie star or on a date with a famous, rich man.  I also like noodling around with Quantum Physics, and I am also researching Einstein’s family tree and seeing how that supports his “Theory of Relatives”

JB:   What's the most exciting part about being a famous actress?

MM:   I got to sing Happy Birthday Mr. President to John F. Kennedy for his 45th birthday at Madison Square Gardens. I received a Grammy Award for my singing.

JB:   Were there any challenges you faced as a young actress? How did you overcome them?

MM:   My first paying job in High School was as a Babysitter,  but that didn’t seem to go so well.  Moms never seemed to like me for some reason – especially Moms with young Boys..  I don’t know why.  The Dads were just the opposite.  They would fall all over themselves, being nice to me, and always offered to drive me home at night.

The main challenge I had was the size of my boobs. That challenge was overcome by me being casted for movie parts as a full chested bimbo.  Oh…and in case you were wondering, these puppies are ALL  Marilyn.  No silicon in THIS Girl.

 JB:   Did you have a favorite role you played in a movie? If so, which one and why was it your favorite?

MM:   I liked being a showgirl named Lorelei Lee in “Gentlemen Prefer Blonds,” because I was able to bathe in lots of white and pink diamonds on the set. I also got to sing which is one of my strongest talents. 

JB:     What advice do you have for people who dream of becoming actors or actresses?

MM:   My advice is to do what I did... quit school and hitchhike to Hollywood. Dating lots of famous rich men helps too.

JB:   Did you enjoy being famous, or did it have some downsides too?

MM:   I love being famous, who wouldn’t? The biggest downside is that everyone wants a piece of me. I am tiny so don’t have many pieces to give out. 

JB:     What was your favorite thing to do when you weren't working on movies?

MM:   I have started taking night classes, that way I can be a secretary if being a movie star doesn’t work out for me.  I also have an application to work at House of Waffles, but those jobs are so few and far between...and they are REALLY competitive.

JB:     Did you have to practice a lot to become such a great actress?

MM:   I sometimes need help with big words. I also take voice lessons so that I can sing my solos in the movies.

JB:     Did you have a favorite outfit that you wore in your movies?

MM:   I have two favorite outfits – the pink silk gown and diamonds from “Gentlemen Prefer Blonds” and my birthday suit in the pool scene of “Something’s Got to Give.”

 JB:     What's the coolest thing about being famous?

MM:   I published a book called “Marilyn’s Famous Quotes” in which I give my tips and advice to all of the aspiring actresses who want to be famous like me.

JB:     What were some of the funniest or most memorable moments on set while filming?

MM:   There were many funny and memorable things that happened to me in my movies. The best moment was in “The Seven Year Itch.” I was standing on a subway grate in a flowing white dress when the wind blew my skirt up. I wasn’t wearing any panties…

JB:     How did you handle being in the spotlight all the time?

MM:   I always keep a tube of SPF 45 Coppertone nearby.  Additionally,  I read books like Ulysses, War and Peace, or The Sound and the Fury. If they aren’t available, there is always the phonebook.

JB:     Did you ever get nervous before going on camera or performing in front of so many people?

MM:   I don’t usually get very nervous because of the type of parts I play. I am usually cast as a dumb blond bimbo type where I just smile, laugh, and act sexy. It would be hard to mess up that type of acting, right?

 Well, Miss Monroo, I want to thank you for taking time from your schedule to answer my questions.  You have inspired generations of moviegoers as the quintessential Movie Star and helped define the genre.

 Writer’s Note:  Special Thanks go out to Sara Box, the creator of the Marilyn avatar seen in the photos above, and without whose help I would not have been able to do this article.