INTERVIEW WITH EARL THE EASTER BUNNY- Lanai Jarrico Reporting…

 

BACK STORY:  Since the Avatar Anonymous meeting this past St. Patrick’s Day, Larry the Leprechaun has become a victim of relentless virtual glitter bombs, D*** in a box anonymous mailers and shunning by his peers.  Larry has not recovered his pot of gold and Mercedes, his stripper girlfriend still insists it wasn’t her.  According to neighbors, those two are heading for splitsville over Cupid rumors. One avie witnessed Mercedes ripping out Larry’s shamrock garden and hurling swear words in Gailic.

Last month was a doozy at the Avatar Anonymous members, It was my duty as a sponsor to pay Larry the Leprechaun a visit to make sure he was ok after his meltdown.  When I arrived at his place, he was crying hysterically in his garden and his girlfriend Mercedes was nowhere to be found. So I guess the love affair is all but over. After a brief conversation, Larry took off running into the woods so I left…I got better things to do like find out what the Easter Bunny is up to since his arrest. 

While getting media clearance, I could hear *Inmate 20475B, you have visitors* and a high pitched scream.

Lanai: OMG Earl is everything ok?l  I heard you got arrested with some serious charges and thought I’d pay you a visit.  What happened?? You were doing so well at the meetings, aside from the attack on Larry last week?

Earl the Easter Bunny: OMG look who it is….. that nosey SLE reporter. Are you stalking me? What do you want and NO! I’M NOT OK!  Get me out of this place! Larry must have some friends on the inside. You just saved me from an attack by Tammy the Toothfairy, I was about to be his… umm nevermind. *as his hands move behind him, covering his ruffled tail* 

Lanai: Hey! I’m here to help you. Easter is right around the corner and there isn’t enough time to find your replacement.  Listen, I will get you out of here if you cooperate with me. Where did you get the funding for your grass supply?

Earl the Easter Bunny: Snitches get stitches! I ain’t saying a word.

Lanai: Earl, you are looking at a lot of time here...You gotta give me some information that might help your case. Don’t worry whatever you say stays between us…

Earl the Easter Bunny: Are you a lawyer now Missssss Jarrico?

Lanai: No, but I’m the next best thing.  Earl, I’m going to give it to you straight. Did you steal Larry’s pot of gold so you can cop some grass? If you don’t come clean, I’m going to leave you here to deal with Tammy the Tooth Fairy.

Earl the Easter Bunny: OK! I confess. Mercedes and I are having an affair. I was helping her pack up Larry’s belongings and stumbled upon his gold in the closet so I stuffed my pockets but I didn’t take all of it! I used some of it to buy the grass and the rest I distributed in child support for all my kids. 

Lanai: Don’t you feel better telling the truth? I have to say that is pretty low of you to take Larry’s woman and his gold too. You need to get your eggs together.  Your actions will cause a holiday disaster. If I don’t get you out of here, Easter will be ruined.  

Earl the Easter Bunny: Just because I stole some gold and sold grass doesn’t make me less qualified to be the Easter Bunny. I’m sure you did some scandalous sh*t before. Don’t judge me.  While there are rumors going around about Uncle Sam and a few others,  allegedly Uncle Sam bought off people with cartons of e-cigarettes to be part of his militia to end Second Life of the bad seedy people. And The Arbor Day Treant tried to pass their seeds as pot seeds. Let me tell you, there are some scandalous mascots out there. I’m not the first and won’t be the last so please just get me out of here so I can go hide some easter eggs or something.

Lanai: Ohhhh sounds like I need to pay a visit to some other mascots… Thank you for the information Earl, you are such a snitch!

Lanai paid Earl’s bail and he was released from jail so he can now hide eggs for the little avie kids and Easter will go on without a hitch thanks to The SL Enquirer.

 Happy Easter!