Second Life Do's and Don'ts - Seersha Heart reporting

I was having a conversation with someone new to SL recently.  She asked me why most of the material she pulled up via google was so dated.  I looked at some of her inquires and found out that much of the “how to get started” and basic etiquette of SL isn’t very recent.  In this article I have combined resources and asked my Facebook friends to help.  Thank you to those who offered suggestions of dos and don’ts.

Number one rule in SL; do not call SL a game.  It feels like a MMO, but it is like other social media.  There are no goals, no leaderboards it is a place to meet people or to create.  Go ahead and ask people in local sometime if SL is a game.  I guarantee a flurry of answers and opinions.  Every person in SL has an opinion on the topic of describing SL as a game.

Another basic rule to remember that immersion into the virtual grid is still a virtual experience.  You control your experience whether it is good, or it is not good.  If you don’t like a situation, you can always teleport out, turn off your computer; you are never ever someone’s prisoner unless you choose to be.   Even RLV* residents may power off, the ultimate control.  You may log into any location you wish.  If you left a bad area, relog at home or at a region of your choice.  I continue to hear stories from longtime residents who complain about their experiences in SL.  I complain about situations in sl to my friends and sometimes a stranger or two.  However, after some good old fashion whining it is time to take control of your sl life.

Here are some of the definite dos and don’ts I have written down to share.  We were all sl newbies at one time.  Reading these may remind you of your own experiences and make you cringe.

General
Let people know who your SL self is by customizing your profile and keep it current.  “Perving” profiles are a good way to make sure your profile is as you like it best.  Also Perving profiles is fun.
Try to glance at profiles before or while you are talking to someone.  This will give you their clues on what they enjoy in SL.
Learn some basic building skills such as how to rez a prim and to move an object.
Don’t beg for Lindens; there are ways to get some L inworld such as fishing.  There are also jobs inworld such as hosting for a DJ.
Don’t RLV if you don’t know what RLV means to your avatar.  Several CARP SIMs [Capture And Role Play] exist and you would be wise to avoid them unless you understand what may happen to you when you visit one of those SIMs.
There is a lot of free stuff.  The locations change but you can always ask around or use the SL search.

“Never play people! Sure, they're avatars... they're behind a computer screen halfway around the world... etc etc.
But, they're real people, real feelings, real reactions. Treat them as such”   - Harper

Interpersonal
Don’t be offended if someone you IM doesn’t respond.  They may already be in a conversation, or AFK or perhaps they don’t want to talk to new people.  It isn’t you so don’t dwell on it and move on to someone who wants to talk to you.
Don’t immediately send a friend request.  It is much politer to ask before friending someone.  It is also general practice to say thank you whether you sent the request, or the other person did.
Don’t be offended if someone you don’t really know unfriends you the next day.  This happens because if you ask someone “may I friend you” it is easier to say yes than to say no to a direct request.
Don’t be surprised if the female avatar you really fancy turns out to be played by a man (or the male avatar you fancy turns out to be played by a woman).
Don’t Demand Anything; voice, RL information.  You reveal what you wish on your profile or in interactions.  Just because you are comfortable discussing your RL or using voice don’t use that as a reason to demand those of other people.
Don’t forget that people can see where your cam unless you change your preferences.  Yes, men look up women’s skirts so wear underwear or a smile. 
Always walk around other avatars not through them.  Much as you would in RL.  You wouldn’t walk “through” someone at the mall.
Always move off a landing point...even if you haven’t rezzed.  Move to the side, get out of the way of the next person.

Some Notes on Nudity & Sex
Don’t go to G or M SIMs naked.  If you have trouble dressing, stay on Adult SIMs.  I know one attention seeking avi who never wears clothing but insists on visiting G and M SIMs.  This is just uncool and a form of griefing.
Don’t wear a Frenis; no none of them look good.  [ Free + Penis = Frenis] It doesn’t matter if the description says it is a good penis.  In sexual attachments you get what you pay for.  Frenis is a big running gag in world but you can find them any day.  Stop by OrGaSms, usually someone wearing one at that SIM.
Don’t send dick pics.  No one ever wants a texture of your RL penis or your SL penis.  Period.
Don’t use the pose balls you find in someone else’s home.  This is a big deal infringement for many people.  There are plenty of places with a lot of pose balls.  Go use those.
Don’t bug every female [or male] you meet for sex.  No doesn’t mean she wants to be persuaded it means NO.  And to the woman harassed this is a good time to TP away.
DO use CTRL ATL T to see if anyone is wearing a penis or other object and hiding it.  You will be surprised the first few times.

“There is no real privacy in SL, remember that”…. Inch Sideways

Land is a sacred place for most residents.  They choose who and when they interact with others while on their own land so:
Don’t be offended if you are ejected from someone’s land.
Don’t expect someone to engage in a conversation with you while they are on their land

Inventory
Emptying your trash will take something out of your inventory F O R E V E R.
Name your inventory pictures something meaningful to you so you know what they are later.
Ask around for hints on how to best organize your inventory, no one has an easy time with this task.  There is no one perfect answer.

Know your resources
Learn the preferences on your viewer or ask a friend for help.  Control your experience.
Don’t forget you can show pictures for free on your feed at secondlife.com
SL doesn’t end on the grid, we have bloggers, photographers, Facebook accounts and so on
Clothing and getting dressed; Never use “wear” always use “add”
Don’t let your groups get out of control; turn off notifications you don’t want to see.

A big don’t is age play.  While most understand this to be no sexual situations with child avis; many don’t understand what constitutes a child avi.  Some SIMs specific height, others may have a no child avi sign.  Generally speaking if your human avi is under 1.8m it will be considered a child by most.  If you want a short avi, be prepared to be reported a child avi in sexual situations.  Disclaimers in profiles are not a shield for this highly inappropriate behavior.  Don’t bother putting that you are “18 years old” if your avi is a child.  Readers if you witness age play please report it immediately.  If you click on the offending avi, you can report your suspicions to LL.  LL receives a picture, the location and all the details.  If you wonder if you should report it, the answer is yes.  LL is the one to investigate and make proper determinations.

Let’s talk about griefing.  Griefer activities take many varied forms.  The simplest definition is a resident who is in sl to disrupt or disturb others for their enjoyment.  There are groups that some residents belong to, so they make discuss griefing.  Most are familiar with “Classic Griefers” whose characteristics are:
Disturb others without physical contact:
abusing the message system, spamming advertisements, and similar
sexual messages or inappropriate dress on G or M SIMs
Pushing
The offending avi will push against you, bump you
Attacking land parcels or abusing protected areas with
Particles, sound or unwanted object

DO avoid “flatterbots”, “copybots”, ignore and block any avatar you suspect to not have a real person behind it.
Some residents take griefing to a higher and disturbing level.  They call themselves terrorists.  This group targets resources such as increasing lags, blocking traffic or use of replicants.  This group of individuals spend all their time griefing while developing new ways to disrupt the peace.  For more information on thefting scripts read this great article “Theft and Fraud in Second Life – Scripts that Steal – Dean Lawson reporting”

“A very common technique used by many griefers is to offer free products (inworld or on marketplace). When a resident purchases this and decides to rezz or wear it, the attack takes place. Rezzed object can be a replicant or can harass others (and the new owner) with messages. There have been reported cases when residents had to auto-return all objects on their land because they rezzed one small, invisible, self-replicative object that kept on sending chat messages and consumed all their land resources.” -Second Life Wiki

If you are concerned, reach out for some fantastic resources on how to best handle griefers.  Free on SL Marketplace you can find GreenZone HYPERLINK "https://marketplace.secondlife.com/p/GreenZone-HUD/1849012" HUD for $0L.  This is designed to aid you and protect your privacy in SL from griefers.

The dos and don’ts in SL are ever changing like the landscape of all SL.  Remember at the end of the day it is always, your SL.

“Just don’t be a d**k”  - ChipaquamanGriefers are a small group of SL residents.  Most residents are thoughtful wonderful human beings pursuing their interests peacefully.  Griefers frequent particularly vulnerable areas and vulnerable people [such as newbies].