A Reality Check about Cyber Bullying, Second Life’s Dating Culture, Relationships and Human Intelligence Decline.- Lanai Jarrico Reporting…

Are we turning back into cave people?

UPDATE! Back by popular demand. This post was first publish in January of 2016. It is now 2020 and Cyber Bullying is now a social epidemic that has become a major problem. If you or anyone you know is being cyber bullied, speak up!  Many suffer in silence. Make it a topic of conversation with your family, especially youth and make it a point to educate them about the internet and social media.

Original Post: 1/13/2016

I refuse to sugarcoat these topics because they are issues that just keep happening in Second Life (for years) and needs someone to expose it for what it is. If you do not like articles that keep it real, please don’t continue to read.

CyberBullying

Cyber Bullying happens in SL more often than most realize. It occurs most often between couples than just random acquaintances on a virtual playground. We are all grownups yet many act like children with no type of parental guidance or self discipline.

Let’s start with failed relationships and the ridiculous tantrums that follow.

 Like countless tales of love and break ups in Second Life, either one or both come out of the situation feeling jilted or scorned. Nearly 2 out of 10 relationships have a mutually agreed upon peaceful split. The rest do not end so peacefully.

Good Break Up

 For those mature break ups, both parties came to the agreement they were better off friends or they just want to see the other happy-even if it isn’t with each other. For the most part, these former lovers remain friends and share a mutual understanding. This is the way to handle a break up with dignity and respect. While both parties might feel sad at first, the damage is minimal and both will not be left scarred.

Bad Break Up

For those couples who end up squabbling back and forth like pre-schoolers with no damn common sense, there is something to be said about how they handle conflict and make choices. They have it all wrong and need to learn some self control and ways to be the bigger person in the situation.  Otherwise, they will go through life not knowing how to deal with relationships and will never find true happiness.  The best way to handle a situation is to accept it as it is and move one. People with high expectations cannot expect things to go back to the way they were once they have been let down. So why even bother bickering or attacking your ex? No one truly wins in this situation and acting like you “owns” anyone is the perfect way to sabotage any healthy relationship moving forward. You are not a cave dweller clubbing your mate senseless for your own needs....

How mature are you when things don’t go your way?

There has to be a level of respect and maturity when things do not go our way. People who think being spiteful or concocting a revenge plan are lacking some form of intelligence. Perhaps it is mild retardation that does not allow them to think rationally.  Have you acted in a way you regret? Stop that shit.

If you know a Cyber Bully do not fuel the flame by bickering back and forth and making it escalate.  You can save yourself some grief by using ban and mute. If the bully threatens you and you feel in danger- seek authorities or qualified professional help that can actually do something about it. That bit of advice applies to both the real world and the virtual world bullying.

Second Life’s Dating Culture- FFS let’s break this down.

Second Life has an interesting dating dynamic. There are multiple factors that play into how we perceive each other.

There is the visual fantasy that we all share being beautifully designed avatars based on what we see as our own personal perfection.  The majority of us DO NOT look exactly like our avatar or even come close. Others may share a resemblance but the virtual lifestyle is not how it really is in their real life.

If you want to argue that, can you fly and teleport in RL let alone dance like a superstar in a club like that? OK then… back to what I was saying.

  Some people fall in love with the fantasy and need a reality check.

For example, In SL you might have the biggest property, Mansion, yacht, cars, wardrobe, ect but be a broke ass living on someone else’s couch and sponging off their internet while on unemployment.  If that isn’t sexy enough, what about the housewife with screaming neglected kids in the background and loads of laundry and dirty dishes piling up as she is flirting in a club with all her goods spilling out of her skimpy outfit.

For those of you who have a happy RL and you are dragging the rainbows and butterflies into Second life, Thank you for being awesome!  My advice does not apply to you. In fact offering your advice as a mentor to those who got it twisted would be great.

Anyway, what I am trying to say is Second Life has a funny way of creating illusions for people to form their initial attractions around. Being aware of these things and finding your balance between reality and virtual existence is very important- Especially, if you want to avoid being sucked into situations that would be awkward to explain to people in your real life.

Sharing Nude Pics and stuff about yourself that you might regret later

When RL information and images are exchanged it either kills the fantasy flat out or adds a spark that causes virtual couples to choose their next step in the relationship. Things in Second Life happen at such a fast paced that a whirlwind romance can lead to more serious conversations, a deep love that almost feels like both parties are soul mates and no one can ever understand their bond. 

In reality, relationships form in Second Life based on this very scenario a hundred times over and break ups occur even as rapidly as they begin. It takes some pretty unique people to make it work.

People in virtual “simlationships” do need a reality check when it comes to thinking about the future and what will become of things if situations change.  No one is ever promised forever and people need to have a plan in place for change.

 If you share information or pictures that you would never want leaked to anyone including your parents, spouse, kids, pastor, hairdresser, cat or dog- it might be best to not share them. If you still share questionable content and act surprised if you get exploited.  Don’t complain to anybody. Stop that shit.

Observe how people act

You might think if you trust your friends or a significant other, you have nothing to worry about right? Just observe them. How do your friends, lover or SL spouse react when they are angry?

Do they bad mouth others and seek revenge? Or do they take the higher road and handle the situation like a mature adult with some intelligence? Just remember, you can easily become the victim of someone’s anger. Choose the people you involve yourself with wisely because you never know when things get ugly, how ugly they will be.

Falling in “Love” in SL- Is it real or just amplified infatuation?

 Falling in love in a virtual world is probably one of the most dangerous things to do with your heart. You are taking a big risk based on whatever the person tells you without seeing their body language, hearing their voice or even spending rl time with them.

These important relationship factors aren’t present in SL-unless the couple is physically involved in rl and also expressing it in SL. If the couple never met in rl or can’t be due to other factors like distance, disability, financial situation, a spouse, being a gender imposter, lying or other questionable reasons, it is best to just have fun  unrestricted and not invest your heart into something that won’t be going anywhere. You will end up frustrated and maybe even resenting the person you thought you loved.

Try polyamory. This type of relationship doesn’t restrict you from exploring your options in Second Life. Make sure that everyone agrees in the lifestyle and just have fun without all the drama, jealousy and BS that weighs down some couples in a monogamous lifestyle. Why limit yourself in SL?

Love is very fragile in SL and can be shattered at the snap of a finger causing problems and potential devastation in its wake. If it hasn’t happened to you, chances are you know someone that has gone through a break up, or two. Stay on the side of caution if you wish to expose your heart in Second Life. Love is a strong word and should not be thrown around like a pair of underwear when you are just in the mood. To genuinely love- (care deeply for someone inside and out) means putting them before yourself and protecting them from harm.

 SL Infatuation is something totally different. It means caring enough to stay and cuddle for a bit after sex but not enough to listen to their partners feelings- even when they act like they care. They are totally in it for the sex.  Don’t be fooled.

In conclusion- F*ck Global warming, There is a Human Intelligence Decline!

Im not trying to say don’t worry about global warming. Please do but isn’t is even more alarming to see human intelligence is declining? We need smart people in this world to help figure out what to do about a crisis.

No matter if it is real life or in Second Life. Drama, problems and issues are always present. It is how we deal with things that determine what type of person we are and how our life will turn out.

Besides that, we as a human race have bigger things to focus on-Like trying to find peace and solutions to this global warming thing before we end our own humanity being a bunch of dumb asses worrying about petty things that don’t even matter.

The way I see it we are all borrowers of time whether it is in Second Life or in Real Life. Each day we are all getting closer to our end and won’t be taking anything with us when we go. Our time right now is the most valuable thing we have in this world. It is something we can never buy back, yet some waste it away blaming everything on everyone else but themselves. Don’t be that person.

Use your time wisely with no regrets and enjoy both worlds. Second Life was not made to replace life but to enrich it with so much creativity and imagination. It would be a waste to squander that dealing with unnecessary BS.


UPDATE 2/27/2020

UPDATED LINK:

 https://www.stopbullying.gov/sites/default/files/StopBullying-Law-Policies-Regulations.pdf

The guide below features how cyberbullying has become a growing problem, how it can affect kids and adults, and mental health-related problems to name a few.

Here’s the link - https://www.broadbandsearch.net/blog/cyber-bullying-statistics

Special thanks to Outreach Manager; Sarah Anderson for the updated links to important cyberbullying resources!

UPDATE 9/14/2020

An update from the company Comparitech 

We surveyed 1,000 parents of children over the age of five and asked about their children’s cyberbullying experiences.

Here’s the updated study - https://comparite.ch/bullying

Special thanks to Charlotte Bishop for supplying this updated information.