According to the trusty and witty Urban Dictionary, the
word sex is defined as “What kind of moron are
you that you look up sex in the Urban Dictionary?” More politically correct and
bland on dictionary.com (which has better manners I might add) defines sex as “the instinct or attraction drawing one sex toward another, or its manifestation in life and conduct”.
To be more specific, sex is a sexual activity, including specifically sexual intercourse. The act of
sexual intercourse and exchange of bodily fluids obviously dates back to the
beginning of creation, without getting all biblical and assuming we all came
from dust. None of us know exactly where mankind came from but we sure know how
to procreate to add to our population on this planet or, at least, practice. To
many it is taboo and whispered about and for others they display their
sexuality in a very public way. Either way, it is a part of life. And without
it none of us would exist.
There is something within us (assuming you are an adult,
mature enough to understand the true meaning of sex and all the excitement
about it.) We all have that the primal urge to fulfill our most inner desires
and reach that point of pure ecstasy.
Sex is amazing with the right person and even more out of this world
when you are in love. There are many ways to experiment with it; to find that
ultimate trigger that works for each of us sexually active beings. In order for it to work we have to remember
it is a mutual thing between consenting partners and not all about you and your
needs. If it is then you have no clue what you are missing.
There is no need to be shy about sex or think it is too
dirty to talk about. Once you get over that, you will truly understand why it
is such a big deal to so many people, especially in Second Life where
imaginations can run wild, shyness and judgments are pushed aside and the real
sexually charged animals come out to play. That is why the sex industry is so
large in Second Life.
No matter where you go in Second Life you
might be faced with pose balls and animations that were created to lure lovers
into a more intimate space. Since it is virtual, the act of sex is more a mental
stimulation and self-exploratory. Masturbation is a big part of the act but
surprisingly, for some, one or the other will not even touch themselves yet
still feel satisfaction and mental release. It is an interesting digital age we
are in that gives people the option to explore thing they didn’t even know
would turn them on.
A big reason for the fear of sex or exploring options is
sexually transmitted diseases and unplanned pregnancies. In Second Life those
worries are not present so sexual exploration, multiple partners and promiscuity
are new and bold options to choose from. Add bi-curiosity, orgies, swinging and
BDSM to the mix and you have yourself a never ending Sex-fest. I will say the art of emoting is a thing to be
mastered because a bunch of mmmms, ooohs and ahhhs won’t cut it alone. To make
it good, you have to be sync with your partner in writing out your erotic
fantasy. And don’t think about cutting and pasting from 50 shades of grey, you
can probably write better porn one handed in the middle of an orgasm.
Anyway, since sex is so easy to
find in Second Life I decided to go explore the red light district and do some
“research” without ending up in a fetal position crying in my shower about what
I did with regrets.
Case
Study #1= The F*ckery Owner Jaz Mynx
The F*ckery is a popular location for avatars to let go
of their inhibitions and explore Sex in SL. I met up with the sole owner of
this sex club to get an inside look at his perspective of Sex in SL. You will
see just how easily sex can become part of a situation with just a little
flirting.
Lanai
Jarrico: Hi Jaz, What inspired you to create
the F*ckery?
Jaz Mynx: it’s perhaps the very reason I keep this place.
Well first let me say, it would not be here without the help of my close friend
Pixie, who built a lot of it. I wanted to have a place where all adults where
welcome, felt welcome, found something here that maybe turned them on in some way;
I like to think there is something for everyone here.
Lanai
Jarrico: Why do you think Sex in SL is such a huge culture?
Jaz Mynx: Well I think it’s very easy. There is no
consequence for the most part. You can become whatever you want to become.
Lanai
Jarrico: I agree
Jaz Mynx: I find
people have such a varied range of fantasies. oh you’re such a tease.
Lanai
Jarrico: I try
Jaz Mynx: lol
Lanai
Jarrico: lol Do you think Sex in SL is fulfilling?
Jaz Mynx: for me personally... only sometimes. I think
some people get an enormous release from it most of the time, they come here
for that as somehow maybe sex in rl has escaped them and I think that’s great.
Lanai
Jarrico: can you elaborate?
Jaz Mynx: for me, I require a little something.... real
... .sometimes, even in sl and that puts some people off… a lot of people
actually lol BTW feel free to... you know.... lose some layers...
Lanai
Jarrico: sure
Jaz Mynx: did I elaborate enough on that?
Lanai
Jarrico: yes but I’m interested more in what realism you are into.
Jaz Mynx: well.... for example. I have gone so far as to
meet up with a lady but I think that takes time, understanding, trust and an
obvious connection. I’m not here to find dates, don’t get me wrong but... I do
not rule it out either. Short of that I would say.... perhaps voice, a way to
connect when offline whether that’s kik chat or something like that... of
course photo exchange but I feel like men are more visual and want that more often
than women....those are just a few examples
Lanai
Jarrico: very interesting.
Jaz Mynx: would you like to sit on my lap?
Lanai
Jarrico: *sits on his lap* what is it about SL Sex that you like the most?
Jaz Mynx: I think it’s when I feel as if I have made a
connection with someone, mentally, intellectually even and I can feel their
passion grow with mine...I can feel them needing me in that moment more than
anything and it goes beyond simply physical arousal. Because let’s face it, we
can all just masturbate alone, right?
Lanai Jarrico: *nods*
Jaz Mynx: you know what I mean then?
Lanai Jarrico: well this interview has
gotten close and personal* clears throat*
Jaz Mynx: yes it
has.
Lanai Jarrico: you made me lose where I was
at in my interview lol
Jaz Mynx: I hope that’s ok... it’s one of those things
one simply can’t predict or expect but then it gives an amazing energy doesn’t
it.
Lanai
Jarrico: it sure does and it is quite fun.
Jaz Mynx: it feels great, I’m glad you stopped by
Lanai
Jarrico: Sooo where do you see the Sex industry in SL headed if oculus rift
becomes a part of it
Jaz Mynx: I don’t want to....undermine your interview at
all... but I’m loving having you so close right now. uhm... wow I’m so
uninformed on that, you have to tell me what oculus is?
Lanai
Jarrico: well oculus rift is that headset viewer with the capabilities of being
hands free in Virtual gaming.
Jaz Mynx: oh I see. That sounds like it could enhance the
experience to me
Lanai
Jarrico: I think it would put a major spin on how people engage in Sex here. Here
is something else interesting to have http://we-vibe.com/we-vibe-4-plus *smiles*
Jaz Mynx: THAT’S SO GREAT!!! I can control a vibe with an
app on my phone!!?
Lanai
Jarrico: mmhmm anywhere from around the world. Imagine the possibilities of
that here lol
Jaz Mynx: fantastic!! When can I send you one!? Yes I
see... that certainly offers the possibility of making it all a bit more...
interactive
Lanai
Jarrico: Ok let’s get back on track. Is there anything else or some advice for
people new to sex in SL that you can offer?
Jaz Mynx: lol you’re so good
Lanai
Jarrico: good at what hmm?
Jaz Mynx: lol good at staying on task here. Hmmmm I would just say for people to be
patient if they can, they will find what they seek eventually, but people can
have such a different idea of how things should be or what they expect here so I
would hope people are open minded and patient
Lanai Jarrico: It’s my job :) *climbs off your lap nice
and slow* It was quite the pleasure interviewing you. We should do it again some time.
CASE
STUDY # 2- The Keyhole Club Dancer Rev.
Dr. Pappa Hiddenshoes (drrwatkins)
The Keyhole Club has been in Second Life for a few years
and caters to sex enthusiasts who like to watch and be watched. Entertainment
includes a porn theater, sex rooms with window peepshow views, a strip club and
a shopping mall for all your sexy clothing and accessory needs. Traffic is high
day and night and its apparent management this sex venue doing something right.
I interviewed dancer Rev. Dr. Pappa Hiddenshoes (drrwatkins) about
his perspective of the Sex Industry in Second Life.
Lanai
Jarrico: Dr. Pappa, what inspired you to
become a Keyhole Dancer?
Rev. Dr. Pappa Hiddenshoes (drrwatkins): I wanted to work
here because it’s the best
Lanai
Jarrico: you mean the best sex club in SL?
Rev. Dr. Pappa Hiddenshoes (drrwatkins): the friendliest
club period. That’s what it’s about.... making connections.
Lanai
Jarrico: Why do you think Sex in SL is such a huge culture?
Rev. Dr. Pappa Hiddenshoes (drrwatkins): I can give you
two reasons...... you get to be someone in a perfect body of your own creation...
so sex of course is going to come up.... and there is a large group of people
here who for whatever reason -disability- work etc...... Can’t get what they
need elsewhere.
Lanai
Jarrico: you bring up a very good point, it is about possible rl restrictions and
having the freedom here without judgment.
Rev. Dr. Pappa
Hiddenshoes (drrwatkins): well some people come here to do kinks (as well as
lots of non sexual things) that they can’t do in "real life” and fear of judgment
is certainly one of those things. Like if the real me was on this pole Id get
booed off the stage lol
Lanai
Jarrico: lol. What is it about dancing that you like the most?
Rev. Dr. Pappa Hiddenshoes (drrwatkins): getting paid
money to have girls ogle me and take off my clothes?? I like everything about
that! LOL
Lanai
Jarrico: Fair enough. What are the
majority of your patrons mostly into?
Rev. Dr. Pappa Hiddenshoes (drrwatkins): oh goodness they
run the gamut for sure... I would have to say there are women who like a
handsome man appreciate them for who they are. Other than that, it’s hard to
put them in a box.
Lanai
Jarrico: True, everyone has their own preferences so I can see it being
difficult to group them in specific sex interest categories. If you engage in SL
sex do you find it fulfilling?
Rev. Dr. Pappa Hiddenshoes (drrwatkins): yes I do... but
in a different way than actual sex :)
Lanai
Jarrico: can you elaborate?
[08:49] Rev. Dr. Pappa Hiddenshoes (drrwatkins): It’s
more like directing your own porn movie than being IN the porn movie lol
Lanai
Jarrico: Interesting perspective of it.
Rev. Dr. Pappa Hiddenshoes (drrwatkins): this
suggestion is NOT a come on.... but if writing this article you really should
try it with someone
CASE
STUDY #3- Anonymous Freelance Escort
Landing an escort had to be the most difficult of all the
subjects I interviewed. They are very hush hush and do not want to speak to
media. However I did manage to get a few answers out of one escort who
disappeared in the middle of the interview. She asked to remain anonymous. It
is understandable that sex workers aren’t too willing to talk to the press.
Many wish to remain anonymous for a variety of personal reasons. What I did
find out is this particular escort decided to be a sex worker for the Lindens
and when asked why she thought the sex industry was so huge in Second Life, she
replied, “maybe because the men can't have someone in rl and it's easier on
here”. She also shared that what she
liked most about her job was that it was pleasing and then again emphasized it
was for the Lindens.
CASE
STUDY # 4- A Male Perspective
This particular participant does not speak for every male
in Second life who engages in virtual sex. But it gives some insight on sex
from a male perspective who has been actively involved in the Second Life
community for over 8 years.
Lanai:
How long have you been in Second Life and do you engage in sex in Second Life?
Male: I have been in SL since 12/02/2007....and I engage
in sex sporadically.
Lanai:
How many partners have you had?
Male: I can’t answer that. I don’t know an exact number.
Over 15 approximately
Lanai:
Do you have any specific kinks, preferences or fetishes?
Male: I’m more into the D/s thing.....
Lanai:
What is it about SL Sex that you like the most? Is it fulfilling?
Male: I guess what I like about it is that...1. It’s
easy- if you have decent avatar and a good personality. It’s not a problem to
get sex. 2. Its anonymous - you can explore kinks that you normally wouldn’t be
able to explore in RL 3. Its disease free - self explanatory
Lanai:
Is it just sex to you or have your experiences been meaningful?
Male: is it fulfilling? for me?.... sometimes...but
usually no. because it’s still only masturbation...... and you can’t hold
someone after....you can’t "feel" them...it’s cold most of the time. Its
glorified masturbation. Its depends on who you’re with....in regards to it
being meaningful.
Lanai:
Why do you think Sex in SL is such a huge culture?
Male: Because sex in RL is such a huge culture... add
anonymity to that...mix in some creativity, imagination and the human
condition.....and a computer and you got SL sex culture.
CASE
STUDY # 5 Female Perspective
This female participant was a character but very
forthcoming about her sexual prowess. She has never been involved in stripping
or escorting but shared her personal sex life in Second Life because she enjoys
the thrill of intense sexual encounters. Her perspective does not reflect on
all women in Second Life but makes a great point about how it makes her feel
and why she engages in virtual sex.
Lanai:
How long have you been in Second Life and do you engage in sex in Second Life?
Female: I have been in second life for 5 years off and on
and I love the freedom of exploring my sexuality anonymously.
Lanai:
How many partners have you had?
Female: I have been with over 12 different partners. Some
of them were relationships and some were one night stands.
Lanai:
Do you have any specific kinks, preferences or fetishes?
Female: Yes, I am into the bad boy look. I love tattoos
and piercings. I also like men who pay attention to detail and have sexy
avatars that are proportionate and a sense of style. I am not into bdsm but I
do enjoy rough sex with a mix of sensual passionate lovemaking.
Lanai:
What is it about SL Sex that you like the most? Is it fulfilling?
Female: I like the thrill of making him aroused and
knowing that he is pleasuring himself. That arouses me. It can be fulfilling
because it is very mentally stimulating to a point but there is always that
need for physical stimulation from a man. Masturbation alone doesn’t make the
act complete.
Lanai:
Is it just sex to you or have your experiences been meaningful?
Female: It depends on my mood or if I am in a
relationship. When I am dating someone, it is intense and meaningful but I lose
interest if we have virtual sex too much. I like the thrill of exploring
different fantasies and it excites me to be with someone new. When it is a one
night stand it is just sex but still mentally stimulating.
Lanai:
Why do you think Sex in SL is such a huge culture?
Female: I think sex is popular in second life because
everyone has the ability to explore different things that they might not be
courageous enough to do in real life or fear things like std’s or unplanned
pregnancies. Also, it can be exciting to explore multiple sexual partners if
they have been in a long term marriage and need something more, have problems
finding someone, shyness or never got the chance to experience different
people. I can’t speak for every woman who has sex in second life but I think
all women want to feel beautiful and wanted and second life gives us a chance
to feel that.
Collective
Case Study Conclusion
These case studies provided an insight from various
perspectives as to why Sex in Second life is so popular. The most common reason
is the freedom to explore various sexual experiences anonymously. For sex
workers Lindens are a factor but the thrill of these sexual encounters is
stimulating but does not provide complete fulfillment. In a sense sex in Second
Life is interactive porn in a safe environment unless participants take it to
the next level and actually meet in real life for the physical part.
For safety reasons it is not recommended to explore real
sexual encounters with people you meet on the internet unless you have established
a trusting long term relationship, confirmed the person is who they say they
are and it doesn’t compromise your real life situation or your personal safety.
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