Lanai’s Diary-What does it mean to have humility?

As I sit and scribble my thoughts in my virtual diary for all to see. I feel that humanity is in chaos. Daily stresses of life plaque us all. Endless turmoil on the news, hard times, struggles, bad attitudes, mistrust and ignorance, it leaves us all affected in some way. For the most part I try to make sense of the world around me and believe that I have a purpose. We all do.

I was once a shy girl who hid from the world.  I barely made eye contact or spoke first. I spent a lot of time locked away in my bedroom as a child.  My outlet was writing. I had a little pink diary that I hid between my mattress and I poured out my heart in it almost every night. I still have it but it is too hard for me to read. Life wasn’t fair and I feel bad for that little girl who missed out on what should have been a childhood. I have no idea what it is like.  I think back at that little girl who felt so alone. But I think, if it wasn’t for the things she gone through, I would not be who I am today.

Growing up I felt different. Misunderstood is a word more appropriate. I took on people’s energy like a sponge for as long as I could remember. An empath some would say, others might say crazy. Either way, I don’t care.  The only one who truly knew what it felt like to feel another person emotion was me. It can be overwhelming. It confused my feelings with theirs. Imagine walking into a room and standing near someone you have never met and suddenly feeling the urge to cry or becoming angry because there are people arguing in your presence. Bad energy could fill a room like thick smoke.

 It can be a roller coaster of emotion for a person sensitive to energy. It can even make them physically ill.  In my early 20’s I sought guidance from shaman, who helped me control it.

Since then, I felt like it was my duty to try and fix people. I learned a long time ago that it was not possible for one person to save the world and the more people I tried to help, the more energy I would lose.

 In 2004, I realized I had a voice. It reached around the world. My news source became my personal soapbox on occasion, like it is at this moment. I felt the need to share my thought with whoever would take the time to read.  My intentions have always been to help whoever I could. Be a friend and just listen. It is important to me and it doesn’t matter who I help, as long as I help somebody. Humility is a powerful thing. Something that should be part of everyone’s being. That is what would make this world a better place. In Second Life, the energy field is very much real. I have met so many people through the years, some I trust and some I cannot be around. It is a knowing.

Humility is defined as having a clear perspective, modesty and being humble.  Not everyone knows these traits because they are too busy worrying about appearance, what others think of them or what material things they have. It becomes a very lonely place when these people realize they don’t have genuine friends and material things they buy to pacify themselves do not bring true happiness. Most of these types of people will end up old, miserable and alone.

How do we show our humility in Second Life?

 Our appearances do not reflect on who we are on the inside. In order to show others who we are and what we stand for, we have to open up and share ourselves. This in itself is a willingness to be vulnerable.

Vulnerability is not another term for being weak. It is a way of saying, I am no better than anyone else. Trust is something that needs to be earned when being vulnerable and once that is broken, vulnerability can be your worst enemy or it can teach you a lesson and help clarify your perspective of the people you share yourself with.

Admitting when you are wrong is a step towards humility. A simple “I’m sorry” can be humbling.  But an apology alone is not good enough. Actions speak louder than words. It gives you character. Denying the fact you did something that hurt someone else or point fingers at others only makes things worse. In life we have to make choices. These choices should not be made when we are angry. It takes time to assess the situation and weight the options. Ask yourself what is more important to you. Saving face or saving friendships.

 Are our feelings temporary or something that is deeply instilled in our being? We all need friends and to feel cared about. We also have to struggle in life with situations that are not easily fixable. We have to know when to cut our losses if they become unbearable or threaten our mental health. It is important to try and find a positive way to prevent the same problems from happening again.

Not everyone involved in a situation walks away satisfied with the results. How do we decide what is best for ourselves and others?

 Do we shut people out or shut down ourselves and build walls of protection?

 Protecting yourself by hiding within is not the best solution. It leads to isolation and depression.

Being human and sorting out the best options and things to say and do can be complicated. Letting friends be there for you is good. Your true friends are there in your best interest and will be honest with you.

 No one is perfect. No matter how hard some try to fool themselves. Flaws are part of being normal. Limited thinking it part of being average. To exceed average, a higher level of thinking and experience is what builds humility. We all need things to happen to us, to remind us we are all human and vulnerable.

Having a tough exterior does not always mean strength within. The toughest guy you know may break down and cry when no one is looking and that frail old lady that you held the door for, might be one of the strongest people you ever came in contact with. What people see is only the shell of what we all have inside. None of us know what others are capable of. None of us are protected from being hurt, and we are all not immune to hurting others.

 I want to challenge your humility.  Look in the mirror and ask yourself what have you done for someone else without expecting anything in return? Who have you hurt without apologizing? When was the last time you took responsibility for something you did that hurt someone? What about the bad things that happen in your life that you caused? Now is the time to make amends and personal changes.  Spitefulness is usually the reaction some people have when they are angry at someone. What they have to realize is their actions and outcomes only have themselves to blame.  Learn to lead by example and teach people how to treat you.

Life is short and sometimes there isn’t a second chance. Time is the only thing that continues moving forward while some people stop and waste it on petty things. The worst thing any of us can do is look back at what ifs and regrets. Don’t be that person.

If you live with humility, happiness is yours and greatness will follow.  If humility is not part of who you are, don’t expect good things to happen and positive people to surround you in Second Life or in real life. The time to make a difference is now.

-Lanai Jarrico