Real life gender
always seems to be a topic of hot debate, especially for those with something
to hide. But even though there are those who always say that gender just
does not matter, there are times when it does without a doubt. So how do you
detect the gender imposter?
First let’s send away
the argument that RL gender does not matter. Sometimes it may not, but
other times it does unmistakably. Motives behind males masquerading as females
can be scary enough, or even predatory in nature. Lesbian women in particular
struggle with protecting their rights to congregate in a safe
environment. There is an odd and sexually-charged fascination certain men
have with women in same-sex relationships. Lesbian women need the space
to fully experience and keep their relationships in a harassment-free
environment.
Lestastic Lesbian
Club, owned by Liz Jardberg, voice verifies its members before giving out a VIP
group tag. All other group members are welcome to wear the ‘member’ group
tag. “We strive for tolerance, and have many events open to everyone with
compassion towards LGBT issues. But we do voice verify our VIPs to give many of
our members confidence that they can express their personalities with one
another.”
For some, voice
verification doesn’t end the debate.
WardKaye Oakleaf is a
host at Sweethearts Jazz Social Club, and married last year to his SL wife,
Dawn. As a host at a destination popular for romantic connections, Ward
sadly has seen his share of gender impostors. “Yes, some people
unfortunately think it’s funny to charade as the opposite sex.” The
Enquirer thought he would have the perfect answers to detect gender impostors.
“Gosh. How can you really determine that? Unless they cam with you. And
if they don’t, just trust your instinct.”
Jim McVay has his own
… shall we say, ‘unique’ sense for detecting gender, but inevitably also relies
on basic instinct. “A woman can keep a man erect for hours. A man is
short-lived.”
Wow!!! Now that
begs further details to tell! LoL.
“I role played a shape
shifter for years,” says McVay. “It took me a while to figure out who I was
dancing with, but once the rule came to light I was always accurate.”
Red Junge is a woman
that goes on trust and intuition. “Sometimes you can tell a woman from a man …
to me it depends on the age of the Avi and how they are dressed. I am not
saying that every man dresses a horrid woman, but given the age and how they
are dressed indicates that a man is a woman Avi. Most men that dress newbish,
being 6 years old tells me it’s a man. Understand? LoL.”
Elizabeth Marie
Blackburn gets more technical with her own intuition, and relies a lot on
linguistic cues. “Usually, it comes up in conversation, or I can gather from
context clues in the conversation itself. I've learned the gender designator of
pronouns tend to be *really* helpful in a text-based conversation.”
Presumably because as
women we are taught from an early age to be little ladies, it’s a widely held
fact among linguists that women’s speech patterns tend to be more polite than
men’s. Watch how you use your pronouns, dears!!!
As much as we love,
love, love the Internet, it has also made asking a stereotypical and tacky
cocktail of feminine interview questions ineffective at sniffing out the
cloaked male wolf in female sheep’s clothing. ‘What beauty products does
Paul Mitchell make?’ or ‘When do you eat the top of your wedding cake?’, are
things that can be very easily answered after typing the question into Google.
So there we have it.
What works and what does not work. From Cam to Voice. From instinct to science.
We have the subtle and not so subtle means to sneak out the gender
impostor. To many of us, this matters greatly. To others such
as Idris Darwinian, a wonderful free-spirit, the subject does not matter.
“So many men playing women - if you want to have fun - then why worry - if they
are bad at it then move on.”
Ultimately that is a
decision left for each one of us. However, one last word of interest if you
think this article is dramatically biased towards finding men veiled as women,
it’s really for good reason. It is fascinating to note that during this
Avi poll research by the SL Enquirer, it was actually very hard to find the
opposite – women displaying male avatars under false pretenses. Now
perhaps THAT is an article to ponder in the future!
This is part of the virtual world dearests and sometimes that endearing avi of pixels does not have the same soul as it's appearance in so many ways. The give away to me at best is these females with a lot of interest in stuff that goes beyond tomboy. I am an out of closet lesbian but live a pretty conservative RL and SL in both respects and though I have a few tomboy and dear hard core dominant lady friends even they limit their hardware interests so to speak. When a female has more guns and knives than Rambo or can build things and develop a high end SIM in less than a few hours dearest I have my doubts. Oh my yes there are some geeky girls out there but not as many as I think in SL but even so these geeky girls are able to let you know they have curves with that sharp intellect. But if you look like a cat walk model and talk about the latest things that go boom or fancy scientific geek talk I'm going to have my doubts dearests. A women instinct can knows after a while and if you fool me then shame on me and as it goes shame on us all perhaps for being such derps or deceptive souls.
ReplyDeleteInteresting, kinda. I have always thought this subject is rather uninteresting on the net as a whole, much less in this subset community of VR.
ReplyDeleteIt never comes up where I play now, I assume because it is more common in the free Meta to switch genders, as well as play with all sorts of characters, depending upon circumstances and RP or whatever one feels like doing.
I say Vive la différence!!
I have had some guys say hearing voice is important to them to determine gender, but, you see, "I" am not there for them, I am there [or here] for me, those few I call friends, my acquaintances I have made that I like, to escape a difficult reality, and to pass time in this entertainment aspect of the net.
Men often think the world revolves around them, which is, of course, an ego thing.
Personally I don't care what gender or creature people wish to use in VR [well, in reality also] as long as they do not hurt me physically then why would I? Relationships I suppose I can see that as an issue but as I am not personally doing all this for such things it does not concern me.
I do, however, keep in the back of my mind certain cues, if you will, as to gender, in a kinda fyi kinda way, just for myself. I find if a person has a certain "wit" about themselves, and are portraying themselves as women for the most part, this is one indicator they are.
To be sure, however, Men also have a certain "wit" but it is decidedly different.
Also, how women deal with each other is different, especially when we have our little spats-))) But with words, rather than in typical [and yes, stereotypical] ways that men do.
The world is full of differences though. A woman in Texas living in the country [like myself] speaks and acts in somewhat different ways than some in more cosmopolitan cities. So if she is more outspoken and down to earth, that would be different than one who considers such values as uncouth and ill-mannered.
A woman tending rice fields and her family in China likely deals with life much differently [tho we would, I would think, not see such women on the net to compare notes].
Anywho, time to go rope some horses and break 'em!! [oh, and milk the cows] regards....
very well-researched and original writing. One of the best pieces on SLE so far!! Keep writing Soulstar!!
ReplyDeleteNot well written at all, utterly one sided article presenting the false view of "every man is a sexual predator".
ReplyDeleteMost female avatars I've met in sl who're known to me to be men behind the keyboard are either transgender, and/or not interested in sexual relations, having chosen a female avatar to play out their own fantasies or simply because female avatars tend to look a lot better than male ones (especially if you don't have a lot of money to spend).
The few I did meet who were just looking to shag lesbians were invariably immature little kids who had no business being in second life in the first place because they were under age, mentally even if not always physically,.
But the idea is common, I grant you that, especially among those who're just looking to shag willing women and want an excuse to demand voice and webcam sex "to verify you're really a woman".