Let’s talk about SLex – Glossom Resident Reporting…

There is a certain inherent eroticism around Second Life for the many graphic images that appeal to human nature: the skins and shapes that are models of perfect and sensual bodies, the provocative clothes or the lack of them and even the animations that give avatars a sexy twist. 

Additionally, this platform allows us to voice with each other without having to reveal our identity, lifting eroticism into a whole new level: sexy voices; foreign accents that are appealing and lure the receiver. Thus, physical attraction is replaced for voice attraction and our powerful minds do the rest. All this affects our emotions related to sexuality.

On the other side of the scale there is the weight of moral and emotional values, either in shape of a real relationship where virtual sex is a way of cheating on the real partner or in shape of personal boundaries where virtual sex makes no sense and is rejected for the lack of physical connection or lack of objectives.

Virtual sex is a topic fraught with subjectivity. There are innumerous reasons that drive people into the practice or rejection of it. Therefore we traveled the streets of Second Life asking residents their opinion on this subject. There we met Miss F (fake name), Priscila, Cris, Kent and Mr. A (fake name), who have agreed to give us their perspective on virtual sex by replying to our questions. The SLE would like to thank each and everyone for participating.

SLE: What do you think about virtual sex?

Miss F (fake name): silly! It’s like watching two dolls having sex: Barbie and ken.

Priscila Faith: I think it is a form of sex like any other. There are people who masturbate watching videos or fantasizing. Virtual sex is shared, not just to get pleasure but also to give pleasure. The problem is when people replace their real lives with a fantasy which is much easier than in real life. People do it for many different kinds of pleasure: there are those who do it "for themselves", "with the other" and "for the other".

Cris Leakey: I think it can be great because to me it’s like any other kind of deprivation of senses. The power of the words, interaction, voice, sometimes images, cam, whatever, you gotta work these skills to really get a nice "result". It can be a trap because sometimes it’s just give and get nothing in return. Also, because it sometimes replaces the real thing which isn’t good nor healthy. I think it’s good, but it's important to be good for all involved as in rl, I do not see the difference because the idea is basically to stimulate your partner and find pleasure to yourself..

Mr. A: It works entirely in one’s mind and fantasies can be mentioned more easily than in real situations.

Kent Fingerpin: I think it helps both parties to explore and test new ideas that are not possible or not willing to do in real.

SLE: What are the boundaries: How far do they go to obtain sexual satisfaction?

Miss F: Everything that can be taken as virtual sex is a boundary for me.

Priscila Faith: No cam! I have done it once, a little by his insistence, but I didn’t like it. I didn’t feel good so I never did it again. It doesn’t mean that I will not do it in the future but this requires that the person inspires a lot of confidence; I need to feel very comfortable. Voice is also complicated for me but I do it with whom I feel a connection. And I definitely do not pay for sex, I don’t need it. I rather do it alone. I do it with people for whom I have feelings, not only for pleasure. It isn’t physical but psychological. So giving and not getting doesn’t work for me. I do not send explicit pictures either. But the boundaries that I impose to person X aren’t the same I impose to person Y.

Cris Leakey: It depends. If it is just sex without feelings involved then I don’t cam. Actually, I don’t have regular talks in cam. I used cam for sex only with two people, and with people I was having a relationship with almost crossing the line to RL. My boundaries depend on how safe the person makes me feel. With the guy I’m with it has to happen but with him it’s a one way thing, which isn’t what I call a 'healthy relationship'. But other than him, I doubt it. I rather do it alone. I think that each person generates a different level of confidence. I like the idea of caming to make the couple closer, if both make use of it, for sex, talk, to be as close as possible, fighting the distance, I would say yes. Boundaries are flexible.

Mr. A: The boundaries are the same as in real life. I can’t get stimulation from something that I don’t like in reality either. It’s still the same head that fantasizes.

Kent Fingerpin: I don't care for pain myself.  But to each their own.  Myself I like romance, tenderly and gently. Sometimes a little rough if both agree.   But both equal in the choice.

SLE: In your opinion, has virtual sex trivialized real sex?

Miss F:  No, I think, actually, know, that for people into that, it is like going to the red light district in rl without risks. I know someone whose wife prefers it over rl sex with prostitutes.

Priscila Faith: It has nothing to do with it. There is nothing better than the touch, the physical contact between two people. Regardless of how much we share, nothing replaces real sex because virtual sex, no matter how much we voice, how many pictures we share, virtual sex is still just fantasy.. Unless it harms real life sex, when people prefer to sexually fantasize in SL instead of living their real lives. As much as we try to humanize virtual sex, it never ceases to be just that: virtual. SL doesn’t fulfill me completely.

Cris Leakey: I find it difficult to answer because I think it depends on the moment we are living. By having a virtual relationship/sex it doesn’t mean that I do not have a sexual desire for the person physically close to me. However, many people have some kind of discomfort about themselves, a psychological disturbance or some kind of rejection of their own body and appearance, so virtual sex is very positive in this situation. Something that scares me a little is that really often the interest for the avatars appearance or the curiosity related to it ends up being more intense than the ability to develop real feelings or deeper interest and connection with the real person.

Mr. A:  Not at all, it’s a different dimension of sex. So in case it touches real sex in any way it is an enrichment and no trivialization!

Kent Fingerpin: I think it enhances it for those who have the availability to be with another. For those who have no one to be with.  I'm not sure. But I think it will enhance and allow others to explore the possibilities to test new ideas.

Here is the perfect opportunity for you to have a voice and express your opinion on this subject.

Happy readings.

Glossom