SONNET
29
When,
in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,
I
all alone beweep my outcast state
And
trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries
And
look upon myself and curse my fate,
Wishing
me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured
like him, like him with friends possess'd,
Desiring
this man's art and that man's scope,
With
what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet
in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply
I think on thee, and then my state,
Like
to the lark at break of day arising
From
sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For
thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That
then I scorn to change my state with kings.
|
PARAPHRASE
When I’ve fallen out of favor with
fortune and men,
All alone I weep over my position
as a social outcast,
And pray to heaven, but my cries
go unheard,
And I look at myself, cursing my
fate,
Wishing I were like one who had
more hope,
Wishing I looked like him; wishing I were surrounded by
friends,
Wishing I had this man's skill and
that man's freedom.
I am least contented with what I
used to enjoy most.
But, with these thoughts – almost
despising myself,
I, by chance, think of you and
then my melancholy
Like the lark at the break of day,
rises
From the dark earth and (I) sing
hymns to heaven;
For thinking of your love brings
such happiness
That then I would not change my
position in life with kings.
|
-William Shakespeare
The
sonnet will well be understood by one who has suffered from clinical
depression.
There
are times when life gives you lemons and you really aren’t able to make that
lemonade. I am not describing “the neighbors not doing their part in cleaning
that common hallway” lemon life throws at us. I speak about the feeling of
sadness and hopelessness that seems never-ending. The “downs” are more than the
“ups” and one starts shutting up oneself as well as others.
A
virtual world like SL can help talking with friends, creating or simply
wandering helps forgetting albeit temporarily, the issues in RL. It cannot solve
the issues but it gives rest to the mind for a time.
However
SL can be a lonely place for a reserved person. A stranger approaches out of
the blue to the“one-with-shaky-self-belief”, you TP the hell outta there.
Some
Avis told me they would think twice before approaching a group of Avi’s
chatting as they feel they would be unwelcome in a circle of old friends.
On
the other side, there was this “peeping- eve” girl who jumped up on one Avi’s
partner-poseball when his original partner had crashed while “bumping pixels”. This griefing is also a
type of need for attention.
There
is also the issue of Avis getting harassed when they may inadvertently talk to
the wrong person. Certain people find it in some way gratifying to destroy whatever
is left of a person under the pretence of companionship.
General
social Clubs are popular for being welcomed by the host to relax and join the
rest of the crowd. But talking about depression is not really what you would be
able to do in such an area.
There
is a need to explore this disorder in an emphatic manner and provide options
for Avis’ that need help. These are a few of the resources available when you
just need a place to be or find someone like you to talk to without feeling out
of place.
Resources
MENTAL
HEALTH AWARENESS RETREAT
Joshuan
Banx, the founder:
“Mental Health Awareness Retreat is a safe haven that
provides both real life and second life resources for various mental health
issues.
He raises awareness for mental health and helps to break
the stigma that comes with it by organizing hunts, events, exhibitions, blog
posts, and uses the social media such as facebook and pintrest to get the word
out on resources and information in regards to mental health as much as
possible. He also provides diverse second life classes such as making t-shirts,
scripting and photography in order to encourage empowerment and self-esteem
within individuals facing mental health issue/s.
The work he does helps to describe him best. It is the
same work that helps ground him and heal him everyday.
Mental Health Awareness Retreat is in the process of
becoming an RL Non Profit
Organization and the RL Joshuan Banx will soon be taking a course on
Peer Specialist counseling, where he would be able to do the work he already
does in SL.”
SURVIVORS
OF SUICIDE (SOS)
This is a group for those whose life has been impacted by
depression, suicide, attempted suicide themself or have lost someone to suicide.
We must break the silence on this epidemic. We offer real life and second life
support, education and info. We offer RL resources for recovery and healing. We
are a friendly active group. All are welcome!
Krissy
Sinclair (founder): I am a real life person who
deals with depression since I was a teen. I have a master’s degree in social
work and spent many years being an outpatient therapist before going into
administration. But I am more than that; I am an artist, a good friend, silly,
and creative... I am more than the illness of depression.
I think the SOS group is one of the best resources in SL
as we cross the boundaries and help people also find real life help to.
I thought when I first started the support group that I
would maybe see like only up to 25 people join.
But we have over 400 members and keep growing. People tend to stay in the group, so that
tells me they are getting some needs met through the group. We are a place to vent, to find solidarity,
to escape loneliness and learn about depression so we can limit its impact on
our lives.
Links:
www.nami.org
PRESSPASS MEDIA
Press Pass was established
January 2010. The network consists of blogs, groups, twitter, other social
networks and subscription kiosks. Since 2012 we have been more active than ever
and get on average 4,500 page view hits monthly and higher. Lanai Jarrico is
its proud owner. Krissy Sinclair is the Director. Includes magazine releases, fashion shows,
bloggers, articles, TV, radio, machinima, events and much more!
Lanai: I
am a human being, daughter, mother, wife, friend and student behind an avatar
with a love of writing, creativity, expression and Second Life.
I went through deep depression in my early twenties and I
turned to art. It was my therapy along with friends that never gave up on me
and helped me get through it.
Press Pass Media group was handed over to me by the
original owner, Carmichael Couldon. I tried to keep up with it but juggling SLE
and PPM has been a difficult challenge that I was unable to keep up with so
Krissy Sinclair, another PPM original owner has stepped in to handle PPM
operations.
Krissy: The
goal of press media group is to help the press find out things and to
communicate with in the group.
Positive
Mental Health
This is one of the largest groups: “The purpose of this group is to explore RL mental health issues in the
safe environment of SL. We deal with
issues related to anxiety and depression and work on ways of coping with the
challenges in our lives.”
Founder
Craig Kamenev is a “Psychologist in
practice in Norcross, GA who is interested in expanding his practice to include
cybertherapeutic interventions. http://www.drkerley.com/cybertherapy.html”
IMs and an email to the RL id of the founder did not
yield response over 1 week.
However I found the group active and members who are
eager to share their struggle to help others...
Arwen is weary of humanity and has adopted the identity
of a Wolf in SL and RL and rarely comes into human form. She is a part of many
groups.
Mayaca (Arwen Spiritweaver)
(Member): I am honest. I will tell you what you need
to hear, which may not always be, what you wanna hear. I'm a Wolf; I learned the
hard way, growing up, and the cost, of lies. I live now, by the sacred pipe. My
birth Alpha female, was major depressive and *Rage, Unspecified* so I inherited
that.
I've suffered from depression all my nearly 53 winters...If
I can help someone, that's all I can ask for…
Orchids says:
“There is no point treating a
depressed person as though she were just feeling sad, saying, 'There now, hang
on, you'll get over it.' Sadness is more or less like a head cold - with
patience, it passes. Depression is like cancer.” (Barbara Kingsolver (The Bean Trees) - American novelist,
essayist and poet.)
“Generosity is giving more than you
can, and pride is taking less than you need.”- Khalil Gibran
Sometimes
we resist help. This is a fight against the negative and you need the entire
arsenal you need to fight. Medications, Counseling, Meditation, Work or
anything that helps. It is your Life… You have to take charge.
Shakespeare, although we
will never know if he himself was affected by it; was extremely perceptive of
depression in his plays. An illustration of his far-reaching ideas is
visualized in the depression seen in maddened Lady Macbeth and also in her
husband, who had to watch her.
In the depths of despair, he beseeches
the doctor: "Cure her of that. Canst thou not minister to a mind diseas'd?"
His words still hold true today where medicine
still has a long way to go to understand the mind.
Van
Gogh -- marvelously
creative till the end, in one of his last paintings, Wheat Field With Crows,
the black birds fly in a starless sky, and three paths lead nowhere, commented:
“It is not difficult to express here my entire sadness and extreme
loneliness”
·
Some
of us have never had major depression so I cannot say this would be complete understanding
nor a complete list. There are many resources out there and one will be right
for you.
·
This
is important because our friends (SL+RL) and family could get affected and we
need to understand more to help.
·
Any
of us could develop depression tomorrow. Life is full of happenings that are
not under our control. It is a mistaken belief I saw when I talked to some
Avis, that, this does not affect us.
·
It
is not the external world that is hard to fight against. Each of us has a demon
to be fought against, inside us…
The
world is full of suffering; it is also full of overcoming it…. Helen Keller
Part 2 with exclusive interviews coming soon
*Please note that the information shared on
the SL Enquirer and in this article are thoughts and opinions of Second Life
residents and do not claim to be nor should be taken as professional help. If
you think that you may be depressed or feeling suicidal, professional help is need.
You can reach out to your doctor or local church for resources that can help in
your recovery process.
Posts
Am I the only one who noticed that in the first picture, the man has on a whiskey tshirt? Maybe not the best thing to be wearing to a mental health center, as some people with mental health issues do have a tendency to abuse alcohol because of their problems. ><
ReplyDeleteI'm sure that it's just a coincidence that he happened to have that shirt on in the picture. I guess I just noticed it because I have mental health issues and used to drink A LOT before I quit drinking 6 or so years ago.
@Serra... Thank you so much for sharing your story and it is indeed heartening for those afflicted by similarly. It is great that you have been able to move ahead.I hope others come forward too.
ReplyDeleteAh as for the whiskey t-shirt :).. I noticed it the minute the shot was set up. I was about to say the exact same words that you said, but I felt in a way that he wants to potray the fact that this is a place run by people themselves helping themselves and others.It is okay to have fallacies.The best fight worth fighting is against ourselves and there is no shame in that.
(This is my personal opinion.It may not be the most complete understanding. But I have realized that the sufferers are the most sensitive and uniquely talented people I have ever come across.)
(I will get Joshuan's personal opinion too. )
thank you.. Good day!!Please continue helping!
I am so happy to see this article on mental health highlighted. Most people are not aware of the amount of resources, help and support that can be found on SL. However, I was a bit disappointed by the responses I've seen here. As someone who personally suffers from PTSD, I have many triggers, which vary and one day could simply be a man clearing his throat. I realize that I have to fit into society, society doesn't have to fit to me. I cannot expect people to not clear their throats around me. I have had the pleasure of meeting Joshuan and have personally seen his conviction and passion for helping people. I would hope that all of the good his retreats have done people, have not been simply dismissed due to a choice of a graphic on a tshirt.
ReplyDeleteHonestly I didn't think anything of the shirt. Orchids stopped by for a photo and I just happened to wear that shirt. It held no meaning to me but I can see how it can affect others who have different personal struggles than myself. It goes to show how we are all different and how our minds process different factors. I personally have had PTSD triggers where I wanted to change people and situations in order to avoid having to deal with the triggers themselves. I then learned coping skills that till this day helps me manage and maintain myself grounded through some tough times. In our retreat we welcome all walks of life. Some people may wear things such as collars, furry avies, and even prim babies, that may trigger issues in others. This is why the retreat is important as well as spreading the word and resources, so that people can find the help that they need to cope in a world full of daily triggers and emotions as well as other mental health issues. Through facing these things with love, understanding and help, we hope to be able to live a better productive and functioning lives. I hope that all of the lives that have been touched through Mental Health Awareness Retreat, and the good we strive daily to achieve, have not been overshadowed from a wardrobe choice. We do hold meetings every Saturday at 1pm slt and it would be a great topic discussion to have "triggers and how it affects people differently". Thank you for bringing that into light Serra.
ReplyDeleteI uh, think this is a fabulous idea. I mean, I know a couple of people who suffer depression and thankfully it's not major but their state sometimes gets to you yourself, and I think by helping people it'll do them so much good! :)
ReplyDeleteI appreciate this project very much, and I wish them the best of luck with it. :D
As one with Depression, Disassociative Identity Disorder and Panic and Anxiety attacks I've had my keester pulled from dangerous cliffs I nearly went over in here. While in nearly all cases, the inworld support systems are a good stop-gap. However they can not replace RL Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or treatments that may need medications as well as Clinical Counseling. In most cases they are not staffed by Trained Professionals but employ a support system known as peer to peer counseling. This in many ways is like the AA model of being helped by someone who's also been there and may still struggle. AM I DISCOURAGING the use of Inworld web based help ? FAR FROM it..just sometimes 911 is the only answer. But if you're not at that point, then there are many ears to listen with and shoulders to lean on if you need them..use them..there's no shame in asking for help.
ReplyDelete