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| Lanai's recent trip to the supermarket |
With the public announcement of the Hostess company, best known for pumping out those cream filled Twinkies for the last 85 years, is liquidating and ending it’s distribution of those golden calorie engorged treats. People have been frantic.
Wonder Bread is being threatened too. This creates a big problem for all the moms that pack peanut butter & jelly, and ham sandwiches. Now they are being forced to find a bread less vitamin fortified and enriched!
Lanai did not take the news well at all. In fact, she remains shocked and convinced its the end of our free world as we know it.
In the midst of this terrible breaking news, Lanai felt the need to inform the SL Enquirer media group about the tragic end to Twinkie as she stockpiled for an emergency.
It stirred up emotions from the healthy eaters of Second Life who accused Lanai of being a secret advocate for the promotion of diabetes and unhealthy eating habits.
One avatar stated in an email, “ Hiya LANAI! Why does your media outlet oppose Healthy Eating? Do you inadvertently promote the Type 2 Diabetes Epidemic?
Lanai responded with denying the accusations and expressed her love for fruit and vegetables. Soon after her statement, Lanai went into hiding for fear junk food lovers might attack her motives too.
A spokesperson for Ms.Jarrico stepped forward and had this to say,
“To live without our guilty pleasures is not living at all. I would call it surviving. Do we know that fast food and sweets are bad for us if used extensively? Yes. Do we read the side labels to see how much poison we are putting in our system whenever we unwrap one of our favorite candies? It depends on how hungry we are at the moment. However, we deserve those special moments. I eat healthy but I want, need my Kit Kat Bar, I want my snickers satisfaction too. I understand how the other puritanical half lives and I respect their vegetative lack of excitement. I am fit, I am healthy and most of all, I am free.
Someone reportedly threw tomatoes and a fruit salad at him. He ran for cover too.
In conclusion, things are getting ugly between junk food Junkies and Health Food nuts. The SL Enquirer would like to extend our condolences to all the Twinkie lovers near and far and also help encourage healthy eating for those concerned with their health and the side effects of additives and processed foods.
Here is Second Life’s first healthy eating cookbook to help get you started on the right path!
FREE AHF Party Cookbook: http://tiny.cc/5ezwnw
Written by Any Gynoid with Humane Education essays written by Carl Solutionary
Posts
But But But Twinkies were supposed to save us during the Zombie Apocalypse, what are we going to do now ....
ReplyDeleteNow worries Lacy, I got you a box! lmao
ReplyDelete