"Dominance and submission" (also known as D&s, Ds or D/s) is a set of behaviors, customs and rituals relating to the giving and accepting of control of one individual over another in an erotic or lifestyle context.
Compensating elements of the total dominance and submission are care and devotion complementing one another, therefore facilitating stable relationships. The consensual submission of the sub is sometimes demonstrated to others by symbols indicating his/her belonging to the Dom, such as wearing a collar and in some cases tattoos and/or piercings.
In general as compared to conventional relationships, BDSM participants go to great lengths to negotiate the important aspects of their relationships in advance, and to take great care in learning about and following safe practices.
BDSM is quiet common in Second Life, there are a large number of communities, shops and groups to cater for the D/s lifestyle.
Outside the BDSM community, the relationship of a Master and a slave is sometimes regarded as a form of consensual sexual slavery. In BDSM, a slave is a specific type of submissive.
I spoke to a few people in regards to the D/s lifestyle, this is their insight and experiences.
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| Wind Dancer |
Wind Dancer is a sub in Second Life:
‘I first came to Second Life several years ago and have been inspired by many things and people. I recently decided to start over and explore a new side of myself and of Second Life by involving myself in a D/S relationship. Here I have been inspired to learn more about myself and how I relate to others.’
‘I am fairly new to this lifestyle. I had dabbled a bit before more from the kink side of it but now seek more of the mental explorations of true submission. Learning to serve and submit. To give of myself in new ways.’
‘I have a wonderful Mistress who is growing in the lifestyle herself. Together we have set on the journey and are finding out more about ourselves as we travel it.’
‘It has gone from simply playing a game and doing Role Play now and then to more of a lifestyle I live. When I ended my previous Second Life it was to become the person I am growing into now.’
‘I now live the life of submission. A life that I embrace more each day and am learning more about constantly.’
‘I don’t mix Second Life with real life much, I mean I reveal some things, but only in a very general sense. I would not dream of mixing the two...again. Huge mistake and never again shall the two cross.’
Marcan Aridian is a Master in Second Life, he tells us about his experience with the D/s lifestyle:
‘My slave and I came to Second Life in 2005. We had experienced an online D/s relationship for a year or so before. We came to Second Life together. I had heard about Second Life though another online game.’
‘I came to Second Life with my boy thorn Aridian to more fully experience the virtual online world. I view Second Life as a place where fantasy and reality can touch in a way not heretofore possible, we have had an online relationship for 8+ years.’
‘I expect thorn to please me and he does. My displeasure is punishment enough for him. I do however allow him to have his good boy spanks ;)’
While he and I could never meet in real life, he touches my real life and I his. We have made a virtual life together for a number of years. It is a relationship I will always treasure.
DawnShadow has had experience on both levels of the D/s lifestyle:
‘I came to Second Life and kinda just checked out the PG areas at first. Then I found adult areas and played around for a little while but didn't take it seriously.’
‘After about six months away, I came back and began playing in earnest.’
‘I tried to be a sub for awhile and found that I was terrible at it. I didn't like it and found it boring. Then I tried my hand at being a Domme and had lots of fun. I tried serving a few different mistresses, but didn't like any of it.’
‘I began to frequently visit BDSM sites and I began to experiment with RLV. I changed my viewer at this point to use one that was RLV compatible. I am a model now at DV8. I like my Second Life but I never mix it with my real life.
Second Life can be about role play and fantasy for some and realism and self expression for others or a mixture of both, depending on what takes your fancy or fantasy.
Thank you to Wind Dancer, Marcan Aridian and DawnShadOw for sharing your stories.
Night Wish (119,69,30)
super nice.
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