Interview with Cupid…Again. Lanai Jarrico Reporting ~ The SL Enquirer

Lanai Jarrico

For the past couple of years I have had a love/hate relationship with Cupid. Not because my heart was broken due to his stray arrows. He’s just always trying to get with me despite my declaration of love for Superman. Besides that, he wears too much old spice Swagger for me. Ugggh.

I interview Cupid around this time every year just to keep tabs on him and make sure he is on the straight and narrow. Last I heard he was detained for questioning in a bold attack on the Easter Bunny. Apparently our Spring mascot was shot with an arrow belonging to “The Love Doctor” aka Cupid. He nearly suffered a heart attack because his sexual stamina increased 200 times that of the average rabbit.

Cupid ended up being released because the charges were dropped. That wasn’t worse then the time he “accidentally” shot two SL© wrestlers during a match just to impress a blonde sitting nearby. The whole night was ruined when he had to learn the hard way, she was a gender imposter. I know because I happen to be there when the duct tape came loose…

Since that incident, I wasn’t sure if it would be a good idea that we meet again because he might still be mad at me for not inviting him over for New Years. Superman would have used him as a dart board with his own arrows.

I realize I clown Cupid and expose the unflattering side of him because he is so arrogant, but if you can get passed his brash comments, he’s pretty likeable.

I’m not going to front. Cupid and I spent some time together in a hot tub and talked about his ability to bring people together. We even spoke about his obsession with cotton balls. (Oops not sure I should have mentioned that)

Anyway, He’s a flirt and the type of ladies man most wish they can borrow, be with or be like, but maybe after this interview, you might change your mind.

Interview

Lanai: Hey Cupid, I really appreciate you agreeing to another interview. A lot has gone on since we spoke last. How have you been doing?

CUPID: Hey Lanai, Is that you? Wow! I did not recognize you with your clothes on. I have been fine, like a cellmate dreamdate. I can see that you are still as hot as when I had you in that hot tub.

last year sometime...

Lanai: O.o… Ummm. Ok so recently I saw your name in one of those tabloids and they claimed that you tried to kill the Easter Bunny. At first, I thought you turned into some psycho killer until you were released back into the SL community. What can you tell me about the case?

CUPID: I would love to tell you more about it but the condition of my parole is that I stay milf, I mean mum. Anyway, that Buggs Bunny wannabe had it coming.

Lanai: LOL Cupid, you seem so hostile. You must be sexually frustrated. Anyway, I know your slife has been an adventure. That’s why I seek you out every year. I am a bit concerned that your arrows need to be upgraded. E-Harmony© puts you to shame when you compare the number of couples that hook up over the internet. Did you know 1 out of 5 relationships begin online? Relationships in Second Life seem to last merely months and avatars are holding you accountable. I really think you need to start screening them and matching peeps on compatability, not proximity to where you are standing.

CUPID: I love the way your lips wrap around every word you say. Are you still with that Superchump? Because if he can’t stay up or keep it up, I am your upgrade. To answer your question, relationships in Second Life only last a few months because that is how long people want it to last. Most people here have a first life and the commitment level needed to maintain a relationship is hardly available in Second Life. So yeah, they will get bored after exploring a few sims and testing a few poseballs if there is nothing deeper to keep them together.

Lanai catches up with Cupid in the Enchanted Forest

Lanai: Here we go. Stop Hating and leave Superman out of this. You remember the last time he had to rescue you from a pack of cougars and furries over at that brothel? You owe him big time once he reads this. About relationships in Second Life©, you do have a point. A relationship has to be deeper then some random poseballs. It is also difficult for anyone to commit full time to SL without sacrificing other priorities. Speaking of which…Where do you find the time for all the mischief you get into? I’m not here to point out your flaws or expose you but avies are concerned and need answers. I heard a rumor you may have fathered a dozen prim babies across the grid. Is that true?

CUPID: If there is no proof, then there is no truth to the allegations, no matter what Susan, Sarah, Michelle, Velvet, Lorna, Tarah, Moon, Bianca and the rest of them girls are saying. Where is the receipt? Where is the receipt? Sorry, I got a little excited. I am innocent until Maury says I am not.

Lanai: Fair enough. I really have nothing else to ask you but for the sake of your lingering fans, do you have any Love advice for 2012?

CUPID: Well, since it is a new year, I would definitely say that this is the year to love. Love as if there is no tomorrow. You don’t have to wait for my arrow to hit you for that. If you see someone that you feel attracted to and it feels so right, do it. Do it harder than a NIKE© commercial. Speaking of which Lanai, don’t you feel like you just want to jump all over me right now?

Lanai: Great love advice but No.

Cupid: Not even a little?

Lanai: Sorry.

Cupid: @#$#$%!! See you next year then. Hopefully I can stay out of trouble until then.